User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 2 Band 6.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

296 words AcademicTask 2

Task 2

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Explain how regular, enjoyable PE can help children build activity habits that may continue beyond school.
Show why PE alone has limits: food choices and time spent in sedentary activities also shape children’s routines.
Suggest a combined response: inclusive school activities, practical food education and support for exercise outside school.

Suggested structure

Introduce the issue and give a qualified position: agree that PE helps, but not that it is sufficient alone.
Develop the benefits of PE, linking regular participation to fitness, skills and habit formation.
Explain the limitations of relying only on PE, using diet and non-school activity as relevant factors.
Offer complementary actions that respond to those limitations.
Conclude by restating the qualified position and summarising why a broader approach is preferable.

Useful vocabulary & examples

structured opportunities: planned chances to take part in an activity
Regular PE gives pupils structured opportunities to practise different forms of exercise.
inclusive activities: activities designed to involve people with different abilities or interests
Schools can offer inclusive activities so that pupils with varied skill levels can participate.
sedentary leisure: free-time activities that involve little physical movement
Sedentary leisure can reduce the time children spend being physically active.
healthy habits: regular behaviours that support physical well-being
Enjoyable lessons may help children develop healthy habits that continue into adulthood.

Task Prompt

The growing number of overweight people is putting strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons into the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

User Essay Analysis

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Band 6.0

It is increasingly becoming common to put more emphasis on health maintenance services among people who are suffering from obesity. According to some people, providing individuals with more physical education lessons can be the best solution to tackle health related issues. While healthcare services can have positive impacts to tackle health related issues, I would argue that more physical education (PE) should be part of the solution, although it cannot solve the problem on its own. Regular activity at school gives children a chance to exercise, especially those who do not have access to sports clubs or safe outdoor spaces. It can also help them build habits that continue into adulthood. If lessons are enjoyable and varied, students may be more willing to remain active rather than seeing exercise as a punishment.

However, obesity is influenced by more than a lack of exercise. Unbalanced diets, large portions, limited free time and the widespread availability of high-calorie food can all contribute to weight gain. Therefore, simply adding lessons may have little effect if pupils continue to eat poorly or if the classes are too short and infrequent. Schools should combine regular, inclusive activities with basic nutrition education, while families and communities should make healthy food and opportunities for exercise easier to access.

In addition, physical education should not stigmatise heavier students. Teachers need to offer activities at different levels so that every child can take part comfortably. This could improve fitness and confidence without making students feel singled out.

Overall, I agree that more physical education lessons can help reduce future pressure on healthcare services by encouraging active habits early in life. Nevertheless, it is only one part of a wider response. Schools, parents and public health services should work together on both physical activity and diet.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Rewrite the introduction so it states your position directly and avoids repeating “health related issues”; for example, distinguish PE as helpful from it being a complete solution.

In the body, explain one cause-and-effect chain for each point: regular school activity can build habits, while diet and access to exercise also influence weight.

Proofread the final draft specifically for collocations and compound modifiers, checking phrases such as “positive impacts to tackle” and “health-related issues.”

AI Feedback

Overall Band

6.0

Competent

Words

296

Type

Task 2

Criteria Breakdown

Task Response

7.0 Band

The completed answer takes a clear, qualified position: PE should be “part of the solution,” but “cannot solve the problem on its own.” It supports this with relevant points about early habits, diet, and inclusive lessons, then returns to the question in the conclusion. One limitation is that the opening reference to healthcare services does not clearly explain how they relate to the proposed school-based response. State the position more directly in the introduction.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The argument progresses logically from the value of school activity to other causes of obesity, then to inclusive teaching and a qualified conclusion. “However” clearly signals the shift to limitations, and the final paragraph brings the main strands together. The opening repeats “health related issues,” which makes the introduction less smooth. Replace the repeated wording with a concise thesis and use paragraph openings to preview each main reason.

Lexical Resource

6.0 Band

The response uses relevant topic vocabulary, including “unbalanced diets,” “high-calorie food,” and “inclusive activities,” and generally communicates ideas precisely. Some phrasing in the preserved opening is repetitive or imprecise: “health maintenance services” and “positive impacts to tackle” are less natural choices in this context. Build a small set of accurate collocations for the topic, such as “reduce the risk of obesity” and “ease pressure on healthcare services.”

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.0 Band

Most of the completed essay uses controlled sentence structures, including the conditional “If lessons are enjoyable and varied” and the contrast in “although it cannot solve the problem on its own.” The opening contains awkward construction and the repeated unhyphenated “health related,” while the later paragraphs are more accurate. Review compound modifiers and read the introduction aloud for sentence clarity; for example, use “health-related issues” when the phrase modifies a noun.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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