User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

205 words AcademicTask 1Line Graph

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Compare the overall upward direction with differences in pace: Malaysia rises steadily, while Indonesia’s growth accelerates after 2000.
Highlight meaningful exceptions to a simple upward trend, especially the Philippines’ fall after 1990 and Thailand’s extended plateau.
Use the final-year figures to compare the projected ranking: Malaysia is highest, Indonesia next, the Philippines below it, and Thailand lowest.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the graph’s subject, countries, and time span in the introduction.
Give an overview of the overall direction and the main contrast in projected levels.
Describe starting values and Malaysia’s steady rise.
Compare the Philippines’ dip and recovery with Indonesia’s stronger later growth.
Finish the detailed comparison with Thailand’s plateau and forecast increase.

Useful vocabulary & examples

urban population share: the percentage of a population living in cities
Malaysia’s urban population share is projected to exceed 80% by 2040.
reach a peak: attain the highest point in a period
The Philippines reached a peak of about 48% in 1990.
remain broadly stable: stay at a similar level, with little overall change
Thailand’s figure remained broadly stable near 30% for several years.
be projected to: be expected or forecast to happen
Indonesia’s urban share is projected to reach about 64% in 2040.

Task Prompt

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in 4 Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The provided graph illustrates the changes in urban population percentages in the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia from 1970 to 2040, with projections for 2030 and 2040. Overall, it is noticeable that there has been a consistent upward trend in urban population percentages in all four countries over the 50-year period. By 2040, Malaysia is projected to have the highest proportion of people living in cities, at approximately 83%, while Indonesia is expected to rank second at around 64%. The Philippines and Thailand are forecast to reach roughly 56% and 50%, respectively.

Malaysia rises from about 30% in 1970 to 60% in 2000, then continues upward, though more gradually, reaching just over 80% by 2040. Indonesia also grows throughout, from around 13% to 30% between 1970 and 2000 before climbing more sharply to about 64% at the end.

The Philippines starts at approximately 30% and reaches a peak of just under 50% in 1990. Its figure then falls to the low 40s by 2010, before recovering to around 56% in 2040. Thailand remains the least urbanised for most of the period, increasing from about 18% in 1970 to 30% in 1990 and changing only slightly until 2020. It then rises to approximately 50% by 2040.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Revise the overview to say that all four countries rise overall, while explicitly noting the Philippines’ temporary decline.

Keep comparisons tied to clear turning points: contrast Malaysia’s steady increase with the Philippines’ 1990 peak and subsequent fall.

Label the final years as projections and use approximate language such as “about” or “around” for values read from the graph.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

9.0

Excellent

Words

205

Type

Line Graph

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.0 Band

The response covers all four countries, gives the main 2040 ranking, and supports it with approximate figures. It also identifies the Philippines’ fall after 1990 and recovery by 2040. However, the overview’s claim of “a consistent upward trend ... in all four countries” is not accurate for the Philippines, which declines from its 1990 high to 2010. Next, describe the general rise while naming that fluctuation as an exception.

Coherence & Cohesion

8.0 Band

The answer moves logically from an overview and endpoint comparison to country-level details. Grouping Malaysia with Indonesia, then the Philippines with Thailand, makes the changing trends easy to follow; phrases such as “before climbing more sharply” also clarify sequence. The overview’s claim of consistent growth is at odds with the later description of a fall, though. Make the overview more nuanced so it prepares the reader for that detail.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

The answer uses relevant and varied trend language, including “reaching just over 80%,” “climbing more sharply,” and “recovering.” These expressions describe direction and degree clearly, and “urbanised” suits the subject. Some wording, especially “urban population percentages,” is repeated and the introductory phrase “it is noticeable that” adds little. Use a few natural alternatives, such as “urban share” or “proportion living in cities,” without forcing synonyms.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

8.0 Band

The response shows good control of complex sentence forms, including “before climbing more sharply to about 64%” and the contrast “though more gradually.” Tense and approximate numerical descriptions are consistent, and there are no significant grammatical errors in the completed response. For a small refinement, streamline “it is noticeable that there has been” to a direct statement such as “overall, urbanisation increased,” while retaining the clear sentence structure.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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