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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 2 Band 7.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

281 words AcademicTask 2
Task 2

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

  • Explain how engaging content, autoplay and mobile games can make children lose track of time.
  • Discuss how family device habits and the convenience of phones may normalise frequent use.
  • Weigh potential benefits such as learning and communication against effects on sleep, physical activity and concentration.

Suggested structure

  1. Introduce the issue and give a clear view on whether the trend is positive or negative.
  2. Use the first body paragraph to explain key causes, supported by specific examples.
  3. Use the second body paragraph to evaluate consequences and acknowledge any genuine benefits.
  4. Conclude by restating the judgement and giving a practical response, such as setting reasonable limits.
Useful vocabulary & examples
immediate entertainment
Enjoyment that is available quickly and with little effort.

Games and short videos provide immediate entertainment for children.

stay connected with friends
Maintain communication and contact with other people.

Messaging apps help children stay connected with friends outside school.

face-to-face interaction
Communication between people who are physically together.

Heavy phone use may leave less time for face-to-face interaction.

set clear screen-time boundaries
Establish understandable limits on how long devices can be used.

Parents can set clear screen-time boundaries, especially before bedtime.

Task Prompt

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

In the contemporary era, the proliferation of technology has led to the ubiquitous presence of electronic devices in our daily lives. While these advancements are undoubtedly significant, they also present a potential threat, particularly in the context of children’s excessive smartphone usage. Unlike previous generations, where the acquisition of a smartphone typically occurred in early adolescence, children today are often given one in primary school. This change is driven by several factors. Parents may provide a phone so they can contact their children and check that they are safe. In addition, smartphones offer immediate access to games, videos and social media, which are designed to attract users and keep them engaged. Children may also feel pressure to own a phone because their friends use one and communicate through online groups.

I consider this a negative trend overall, although smartphones can be useful when they are used in moderation. A phone allows children to contact family members and can provide access to educational material. However, these benefits do not outweigh the problems caused by spending many hours on a screen each day. Excessive use can reduce the time children spend exercising, sleeping or interacting face to face with other people. It may also make it harder for them to concentrate on schoolwork, especially if they frequently check notifications. Younger users can also encounter unsuitable content or experience unkind behaviour online.

In conclusion, children’s heavy smartphone use is largely caused by parental convenience, entertaining apps and peer pressure. Although phones have practical and educational advantages, I believe that spending hours on them every day is a negative development. Parents should set reasonable limits and encourage children to balance screen time with other activities.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Clarify the opening comparison by replacing “Unlike previous generations, where” with a construction that compares children’s phone ownership across generations.
2
Choose one consequence of heavy use, such as reduced concentration, and explain the link between frequent notifications and interrupted study.
3
Keep the formal register, but simplify the first sentence so it introduces the topic directly rather than stacking abstract expressions.

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