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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 2 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

274 words AcademicTask 2
Task 2

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

  • Explain how engaging content, autoplay and mobile games can make children lose track of time.
  • Discuss how family device habits and the convenience of phones may normalise frequent use.
  • Weigh potential benefits such as learning and communication against effects on sleep, physical activity and concentration.

Suggested structure

  1. Introduce the issue and give a clear view on whether the trend is positive or negative.
  2. Use the first body paragraph to explain key causes, supported by specific examples.
  3. Use the second body paragraph to evaluate consequences and acknowledge any genuine benefits.
  4. Conclude by restating the judgement and giving a practical response, such as setting reasonable limits.
Useful vocabulary & examples
immediate entertainment
Enjoyment that is available quickly and with little effort.

Games and short videos provide immediate entertainment for children.

stay connected with friends
Maintain communication and contact with other people.

Messaging apps help children stay connected with friends outside school.

face-to-face interaction
Communication between people who are physically together.

Heavy phone use may leave less time for face-to-face interaction.

set clear screen-time boundaries
Establish understandable limits on how long devices can be used.

Parents can set clear screen-time boundaries, especially before bedtime.

Task Prompt

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

In contemporary society, it is a common sight to see young people spending a considerable amount of time on their mobile devices each day. While several factors contribute to this trend, I believe that this phenomenon is creating detrimental health outcomes for children. One of the main reasons for the high smartphone usage among youngsters is that these devices provide immediate entertainment. Games, short videos and social media are designed to hold users’ attention, so children can easily spend much longer on them than they originally intended. Smartphones are also convenient: parents may give a child a device to keep them occupied, while messaging apps allow young people to stay connected with friends outside school.

Another factor is that children are exposed to phones from an early age. When family members use their devices frequently, this behaviour can seem normal, and children may want to imitate them. In addition, online games and group chats can create pressure to respond quickly or keep playing, making it difficult for young users to put their phones aside.

Overall, I consider this a negative trend, particularly when daily use is excessive. Long periods spent looking at a screen may reduce physical activity and interfere with sleep, especially if children use their phones late at night. Heavy use can also displace face-to-face interaction and time devoted to schoolwork. Although smartphones can support learning and communication, these benefits depend on how they are used. Without reasonable limits and adult guidance, entertainment and social pressure are likely to outweigh the advantages. Therefore, parents should set clear screen-time boundaries and encourage children to balance phone use with sleep, exercise and in-person activities.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Make the scope of your judgement precise in the introduction—for example, state that excessive or poorly supervised use is the main concern.
2
Develop each cause with a short, concrete link to children’s behaviour, such as how autoplay or group-chat expectations can extend screen time.
3
Keep the conclusion focused: summarise the main risks and give one practical response, such as household screen-time limits.

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