Part 2 · Band 5

Describe a person who encouraged you to achieve a goal.

Illustrative target band for this model answer · 246 words

AI-completed learning example

Thank you for your question. I believe that motivation plays an integral role in our life. Without it, achieving a goal becomes a challenge. And at times, people feel the obvious encouragement from their cousins. I also believe that everyone has a special person who encouraged and supported them to become better. For me, that. The person I have in mind is my cousin, who encouraged me when I wanted to improve my English. At first, I found it difficult to speak in front of other people, and I was worried about making mistakes. My cousin did not laugh at me or put pressure on me. Instead, they listened while I practised and gave me simple advice, such as learning a few useful phrases and speaking a little every day. One moment I remember clearly was when I had to give a short presentation in English. I wanted to avoid it, but my cousin reminded me that trying was more important than being perfect. They helped me practise at home, and their support made me feel calmer. I completed the presentation, and although I was not completely confident, I was proud that I had done it. This person encouraged me through patience and practical help, not just kind words. Because of them, I became more willing to take on challenging tasks. I still make mistakes, but now I see them as part of learning. That is why my cousin has had a meaningful influence on me.

Answer analysis

Fluency & Coherence

The answer follows a clear sequence: it introduces motivation, names a cousin, describes difficulty speaking English, gives a presentation example, and explains the lasting effect. The presentation story supports the main point well. As this is text only, spoken fluency cannot be scored. Practise a timed two-minute retell, using “I was proud that I had done it” as the turning point, then finish by explaining how the experience changed your approach to challenges.

Lexical Resource

There is useful topic vocabulary in phrases such as “practical help,” “put pressure on me,” and “part of learning,” which make the support and its effect clear. Some wording is less natural, especially “the obvious encouragement,” and “integral role” is quite formal for this personal story. Try replacing broad or awkward expressions with precise collocations, such as “steady encouragement,” while keeping the concrete details of the presentation.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The answer uses both simple statements and longer clauses, as in “although I was not completely confident, I was proud that I had done it.” However, “our life” has a number-agreement error, and “For me, that.” is an incomplete thought in the preserved opening. Review sentence boundaries and singular/plural agreement, then practise combining the opening idea with the cousin example in complete sentences.

Pronunciation

Pronunciation cannot be assessed from text, and this practice guide is not an assessment of a recording. Practise the word stress in “encouragement” and “presentation,” then say “At first, I found it difficult / to speak in front of other people” as two thought groups. Record a short retelling, listen back, and check whether the key words are clearly stressed and the pauses separate ideas rather than individual words.

A transcript shows language and organisation. Fluency, delivery and pronunciation require an audio recording; the synthetic voice demonstrates the text, not the original speaker.

  • Replace the broad opening with a direct introduction of your cousin, then briefly explain what goal they encouraged you to pursue.
  • Keep the presentation anecdote, but make its sequence easy to retell: your concern, your cousin’s advice, your practice, and the result.
  • Practise the answer aloud for two minutes and finish with a specific reflection on how your cousin’s support affects the way you approach challenges now.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • Name one specific goal and explain why it mattered to you.
  • Describe two concrete ways the person supported you, such as setting small targets and giving feedback.
  • Explain what changed after the encouragement and what you learned from the experience.

Suggested structure

  1. Briefly introduce the person and your relationship.
  2. State the goal and why you found it challenging.
  3. Give specific examples of how the person encouraged you.
  4. Describe the result and reflect on why the support mattered.
Useful vocabulary & examples
set manageable targets
choose small, realistic steps towards a larger goal

My mother helped me set manageable targets for practising my speaking.

offer gentle feedback
give suggestions in a supportive, non-critical way

After each practice, she offered gentle feedback on one thing I could improve.

grow in confidence
become more self-assured over time

I began to grow in confidence as I spoke more often in class.

break a goal into steps
divide a larger aim into smaller actions

It became easier to make progress once I broke my goal into steps.

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