User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 8.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

191 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

Describe the process as a sequence from the farm to retail, rather than treating the products as unrelated items.
Mention the cold-storage stage and daily tanker delivery as important links between milking and dairy processing.
Distinguish the two visible product outcomes: pasteurized, packaged milk and cheese, cream and butter.

Suggested structure

Introduce what the diagram depicts.
Give an overview of the start, end and main phases.
Describe milking, refrigerated storage and tanker delivery in sequence.
Explain the outputs at the dairy and finish with transport to shops.

Useful vocabulary & examples

refrigerated storage: a cooled place where milk is kept before further processing or transport
The milk is transferred to refrigerated storage after the cows are milked.
daily tanker delivery: milk being transported by tanker once each day
A tanker collects the stored milk for daily delivery to the dairy.
pasteurized and packaged: heat-treated to make it safer, then put into containers for sale
Some of the milk is pasteurized and packaged as drinking milk.
offered for sale: made available for customers to buy
The finished dairy products are transported to shops and offered for sale.

Task Prompt

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 8.0

The diagram illustrates how milk is processed and related products are produced. Overall, it can be seen that there are eight steps, starting from cows grazing on the grass to the milk processed at dairy and ending with the milk products being marketed in supermarkets and shops. In the first four stages, cows graze in fields before they are milked by machine twice a day. The milk is then kept in refrigerated storage until it is collected by a tanker, which delivers it to the dairy each day.

At the dairy, the milk is processed and divided into different products. One route shows milk being pasteurized and packaged, after which it is sent to supermarkets and shops for sale. Another route leads to the production of cheese, cream and butter. These products are also prepared for distribution to retail outlets.

Thus, the process begins with milk production on farms and includes both cooling and transportation before dairy processing. It ends when packaged milk and other dairy products are available in shops. The diagram presents a linear sequence from grazing and milking to distribution, with product manufacture taking place at the dairy.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Make the overview precise: retain the eight-step count only if you can clearly map it to the visible stages.

Describe the two product routes separately: pasteurized and packaged milk, and cheese, cream and butter.

Proofread the overview for articles and parallel phrasing, especially around “from” and “to.”

AI Feedback

Overall Band

8.0

Excellent

Words

191

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.5 Band

The answer covers the main sequence, including “milked by machine twice a day,” refrigerated storage, tanker delivery, processing and retail sale. It also identifies cheese, cream and butter as products made at the dairy. However, “there are eight steps” is asserted without showing how the stages are counted, and some process details are grouped broadly. Next, describe each visible stage in sequence and use a stage count only if it is clear and useful.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The overview is followed by a farm-to-dairy account, then product routes and a closing summary. Sequencing phrases such as “The milk is then” and “At the dairy” help the reader follow the process. The final paragraph partly repeats the overview, though, and “Another route” could more explicitly distinguish the other dairy products from packaged milk. Next, use the final sentence to summarise the two outputs without restating the whole sequence.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

The response uses suitable process vocabulary, including “refrigerated storage,” “pasteurized and packaged,” and “distribution to retail outlets.” These terms make the stages and products clear. Some wording is less precise or natural, notably “milk products being marketed” and “milk processed at dairy.” Next, prefer concise process collocations such as “milk is processed at the dairy” and distinguish packaged milk from other dairy products.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.5 Band

There is a useful range of structures, including the passive “they are milked” and the relative clause “which delivers it to the dairy each day.” Most sentences are understandable, but the preserved phrase “to the milk processed at dairy” has an awkward parallel construction and lacks the article before “dairy.” The opening sentence is also long. Next, check articles and make the stages parallel in the overview.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

Practice this prompt

Use the same topic in Hack Admission AI and compare your answer with this example.

Check your answer on this topic Browse all examples