User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

174 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Describe the process as a sequence from the farm to retail, rather than treating the products as unrelated items.
Mention the cold-storage stage and daily tanker delivery as important links between milking and dairy processing.
Distinguish the two visible product outcomes: pasteurized, packaged milk and cheese, cream and butter.

Suggested structure

Introduce what the diagram depicts.
Give an overview of the start, end and main phases.
Describe milking, refrigerated storage and tanker delivery in sequence.
Explain the outputs at the dairy and finish with transport to shops.

Useful vocabulary & examples

refrigerated storage: a cooled place where milk is kept before further processing or transport
The milk is transferred to refrigerated storage after the cows are milked.
daily tanker delivery: milk being transported by tanker once each day
A tanker collects the stored milk for daily delivery to the dairy.
pasteurized and packaged: heat-treated to make it safer, then put into containers for sale
Some of the milk is pasteurized and packaged as drinking milk.
offered for sale: made available for customers to buy
The finished dairy products are transported to shops and offered for sale.

Task Prompt

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

The diagram illustrates the way dairy products including milk, cheese, cream and butter are produced, processed, and packaged for sale to consumers. Overall, there are 8 stages involved in the process, starting with cows grazing on grass and ending with the final products on sale in supermarkets and shops. In the first stage, cows graze on grass before they are milked by machine twice a day. The milk is stored in refrigerated tanks and collected by a tanker, which delivers it to a dairy every day. At the dairy, it is processed into several products. Some milk is pasteurised and packaged for sale, while the rest is made into cheese, cream and butter. Finally, the packaged milk and other products are sent to supermarkets and shops, where they are placed on shelves for consumers. This means that milk is chilled and collected before it is processed, rather than being sent directly from the farm to shops. The process therefore moves from grazing and milking on the farm to refrigeration, dairy processing and retail sale.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Describe the process in the same order as the arrows: grazing and milking, chilled storage and collection, dairy processing, then retail sale.

Explain the split at the dairy explicitly: some milk is pasteurised and packaged, while another portion becomes cheese, cream and butter.

Avoid adding a precise number of stages unless the diagram labels or unambiguously defines that count; use the overview to summarise the start and end instead.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

7.0

Good

Words

174

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.0 Band

The overview identifies the main direction of the process, from “cows grazing on grass” to sale in supermarkets and shops, and the account covers milking, refrigerated storage, daily collection and the dairy’s two product routes. One detail to handle cautiously is “8 stages”: the diagram does not number its stages. Next time, describe the sequence clearly without giving a stage count unless the visual explicitly labels one.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.5 Band

The answer follows a logical farm-to-shop sequence, using transitions such as “At the dairy” and “Finally” to guide the reader. The distinction between pasteurised, packaged milk and “the rest” being made into other products also helps explain the branching process. The final two sentences repeat the overall progression; consider combining them so the ending is concise and each sentence adds a new detail.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

Vocabulary is suitably specific for the diagram, including “refrigerated tanks,” “tanker,” “pasteurised” and “packaged.” These terms make the stages easy to picture, and the answer uses process language consistently. Some wording, such as “the way dairy products ... are produced, processed, and packaged,” is slightly repetitive. A useful next step is to choose the most precise verb for each stage and avoid repeating the same idea in the conclusion.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

7.5 Band

The answer uses accurate complex structures, including “which delivers it to a dairy every day” and the contrast “while the rest is made into cheese, cream and butter.” Verb forms and sequencing are controlled, and there are no clear grammatical errors in the completed response. To refine it further, check for sentence-level repetition as well as correctness, particularly where the final sentences restate the process overview.

Topic Band Distribution

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