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Writing Academic Task 2 Band 6.0 Example

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322 words AcademicTask 2

Task 2

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Explain how engaging content, autoplay and mobile games can make children lose track of time.
Discuss how family device habits and the convenience of phones may normalise frequent use.
Weigh potential benefits such as learning and communication against effects on sleep, physical activity and concentration.

Suggested structure

Introduce the issue and give a clear view on whether the trend is positive or negative.
Use the first body paragraph to explain key causes, supported by specific examples.
Use the second body paragraph to evaluate consequences and acknowledge any genuine benefits.
Conclude by restating the judgement and giving a practical response, such as setting reasonable limits.

Useful vocabulary & examples

immediate entertainment: Enjoyment that is available quickly and with little effort.
Games and short videos provide immediate entertainment for children.
stay connected with friends: Maintain communication and contact with other people.
Messaging apps help children stay connected with friends outside school.
face-to-face interaction: Communication between people who are physically together.
Heavy phone use may leave less time for face-to-face interaction.
set clear screen-time boundaries: Establish understandable limits on how long devices can be used.
Parents can set clear screen-time boundaries, especially before bedtime.

Task Prompt

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 6.0

In today’s digital era, children devote an enormous amount of time to their smart phones. While some people assume this is a positive development, I firmly believe it poses adverse implications on youngsters social and physical growth as well. This essay aims to discuss the drawbacks of spending additional hours on smartphones for children. When children use these devices for long periods, several factors are responsible. One major reason is that smartphones provide instant entertainment. Video platforms and games offer colourful, short content, and recommendations keep presenting new clips. As a result, a child may open a phone for a few minutes but continue watching for much longer. Social media and messaging also make young users feel that they must reply quickly or keep up with friends.

Another reason is convenience at home. Parents may give children a phone to occupy them while they work, travel or complete household tasks. In addition, when adults themselves frequently use phones, children are likely to copy this behaviour. Some families also rely on smartphones for school communication and learning, so it can be difficult to distinguish useful screen time from entertainment.

Overall, I consider this a negative trend, especially when use is not limited. Spending many hours looking at a screen can reduce time for exercise, outdoor play and face-to-face conversation. It may also make it harder for children to concentrate on homework or sleep well if they use devices late at night. These effects could harm both physical health and the development of social skills. However, smartphones are not harmful in every situation: educational apps and contact with relatives can be beneficial when use is supervised and balanced.

In conclusion, engaging online content, peer communication and parents’ reliance on devices help explain why children spend so long on smartphones. Although these devices have some useful purposes, excessive daily use is generally negative. Parents should set clear limits and encourage sport, reading and in-person activities.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Make the introduction answer both prompt questions directly: give one concise reason children use phones and state clearly whether you see this as positive or negative.

Develop each cause with a specific mechanism: explain how autoplay or recommendations extend viewing, and how parental phone use can shape children’s habits.

Check possessives and collocations in the opening, especially “youngsters’” and “effects on”; then read the introduction aloud to check that the move into the first body paragraph is smooth.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

6.0

Competent

Words

322

Type

Task 2

Criteria Breakdown

Task Response

6.0 Band

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it explains entertainment, peer communication and parental convenience, then clearly states, “I consider this a negative trend.” It also recognises limited benefits, which gives the position some balance. However, the opening says the essay will discuss drawbacks before establishing the causes, and the effects are more fully developed than the reasons. Next, organise the body so causes and consequences are equally explicit.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.0 Band

The answer moves from causes to effects and ends with a practical conclusion; transitions such as “Another reason” and “Overall” help readers follow that progression. The paragraphs each have a recognisable focus. The opening is less smooth: “This essay aims to discuss…” is followed by a “When” clause, which makes the transition into the explanation feel awkward. Replace this announcement with a direct link from the introduction to the first cause, then keep each paragraph centred on one main point.

Lexical Resource

6.0 Band

There is useful topic vocabulary, including “instant entertainment,” “peer communication,” “face-to-face conversation” and “supervised and balanced.” These phrases help explain both attraction and impact. Some wording in the preserved opening is imprecise: “adverse implications on” is an awkward collocation, and “youngsters social and physical growth” needs clearer phrasing. In a revision, use natural combinations such as “negative effects on children’s development” and avoid repeating general terms like “devices” when a more specific noun fits.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5 Band

Most of the continuation uses controlled sentence structures, including the conditional “if they use devices late at night” and the contrast introduced by “However.” The preserved opening contains a noticeable possessive error in “youngsters social,” and “poses adverse implications on” is also grammatically awkward. The sentence beginning “When children use…” is complete, but its connection to the preceding essay-purpose sentence is clumsy. Check possessives and prepositions, then read the introduction aloud to test how its sentences connect.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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Writing Academic Task 2 Band 6.0 Example

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Suggested structure

Task Prompt

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