User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 2 Band 6.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

287 words AcademicTask 2

Task 2

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Explain how engaging content, autoplay and mobile games can make children lose track of time.
Discuss how family device habits and the convenience of phones may normalise frequent use.
Weigh potential benefits such as learning and communication against effects on sleep, physical activity and concentration.

Suggested structure

Introduce the issue and give a clear view on whether the trend is positive or negative.
Use the first body paragraph to explain key causes, supported by specific examples.
Use the second body paragraph to evaluate consequences and acknowledge any genuine benefits.
Conclude by restating the judgement and giving a practical response, such as setting reasonable limits.

Useful vocabulary & examples

immediate entertainment: Enjoyment that is available quickly and with little effort.
Games and short videos provide immediate entertainment for children.
stay connected with friends: Maintain communication and contact with other people.
Messaging apps help children stay connected with friends outside school.
face-to-face interaction: Communication between people who are physically together.
Heavy phone use may leave less time for face-to-face interaction.
set clear screen-time boundaries: Establish understandable limits on how long devices can be used.
Parents can set clear screen-time boundaries, especially before bedtime.

Task Prompt

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 6.0

Nowadays, the massive development of technologies such as smartphone, computer or video games has changed our habits. Obviously, children are also impacted by these aftermath. For fifteen years the time passed by teenagers on their smartphones has rocketed. From my point of view, this situation brings numerous disadvantageous and my essay will emphasize my opinion. One important reason is that smartphones provide constant entertainment. Children can watch short videos, play games and chat with friends whenever they have a spare moment. These activities are designed to hold their attention, so it can be difficult for young users to put their phones down. In addition, many parents are busy, and giving a child a phone can seem like an easy way to keep them occupied. Young people may also feel pressure to use the same apps as their friends so that they can join in conversations and online trends.

I believe this is mainly a negative trend. Spending too much time on a phone can reduce the time available for sleep, exercise and face-to-face communication. It may also make it harder for children to concentrate on homework, especially when messages and games interrupt them. If this habit continues for many hours every day, children could become less active and rely on online entertainment whenever they feel bored.

There are some advantages: children can use phones to learn new information, practise a language or keep in touch with relatives. However, these benefits depend on how the devices are used. Parents should set reasonable limits and encourage children to take part in offline activities. Overall, smartphones are useful, but spending hours on them each day is a negative trend because it can interfere with children’s health, learning and social development.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace the incorrect opening forms with plural nouns and accurate word forms, then read the first paragraph aloud while checking each noun phrase.

Develop one cause and one negative effect with a concrete example, such as a phone notification interrupting homework.

Keep the conclusion focused on the question: restate the overall judgement and briefly connect it to the main effects, without adding a new recommendation.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

6.0

Competent

Words

287

Type

Task 2

Criteria Breakdown

Task Response

6.0 Band

The completed response answers both questions: it gives causes, including “constant entertainment” and “pressure to use the same apps,” and clearly judges the trend “mainly a negative” one. It also recognises educational and social benefits before reaffirming its view. The explanation is relevant, though the effects could be developed with a more specific example. Next, illustrate one consequence with a brief everyday situation.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.0 Band

The essay follows a clear cause–evaluation–conclusion sequence, and paragraphing separates the explanation of causes from the judgement. Transitions such as “In addition,” “However,” and “Overall” help signal relationships between points. The final paragraph shifts from benefits to advice and then to the conclusion; this is understandable, but advice is not directly required. Next, keep each paragraph focused on causes, evaluation, or conclusion.

Lexical Resource

5.5 Band

The continuation uses relevant topic vocabulary, including “face-to-face communication,” “concentrate on homework,” and “offline activities,” and generally expresses ideas clearly. However, the preserved opening includes inaccurate choices such as “these aftermath” and “numerous disadvantageous,” which weaken precision. “Rocketed” is vivid but informal for this essay. Next, learn common noun forms and collocations for describing screen time, and use a neutral alternative such as “increased sharply.”

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5 Band

The later paragraphs use a useful range of sentence forms, including the conditional “If this habit continues…” and the contrast “Although…” is not needed here because the answer instead uses “There are some advantages.” The preserved opening has clear errors in number and word form: “such as smartphone” and “numerous disadvantageous.” These affect accuracy, despite generally controlled grammar in the continuation. Next, check articles, plural nouns, and whether each word is the required part of speech.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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