User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 2 Band 8.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

306 words AcademicTask 2

Task 2

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Explain how engaging content, autoplay and mobile games can make children lose track of time.
Discuss how family device habits and the convenience of phones may normalise frequent use.
Weigh potential benefits such as learning and communication against effects on sleep, physical activity and concentration.

Suggested structure

Introduce the issue and give a clear view on whether the trend is positive or negative.
Use the first body paragraph to explain key causes, supported by specific examples.
Use the second body paragraph to evaluate consequences and acknowledge any genuine benefits.
Conclude by restating the judgement and giving a practical response, such as setting reasonable limits.

Useful vocabulary & examples

immediate entertainment: Enjoyment that is available quickly and with little effort.
Games and short videos provide immediate entertainment for children.
stay connected with friends: Maintain communication and contact with other people.
Messaging apps help children stay connected with friends outside school.
face-to-face interaction: Communication between people who are physically together.
Heavy phone use may leave less time for face-to-face interaction.
set clear screen-time boundaries: Establish understandable limits on how long devices can be used.
Parents can set clear screen-time boundaries, especially before bedtime.

Task Prompt

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 8.0

In today’s digital era, a growing number of children spend considerable hours each day engrossed in smartphone usage. This essay aims to explore the reasons behind this phenomenon. It also outlines that it is a negative development by examining and evaluating the potential consequences. The rapid advancement of smartphones has provided children with easy access to games, videos, social media and messaging services. These platforms are designed to capture users’ attention, offering a constant stream of colourful, personalised content. Children may therefore find it difficult to stop using their devices, particularly when there are few limits on screen time at home. Another reason is social pressure: smartphones allow young people to keep up with friends, join group conversations and follow popular online trends. In addition, busy parents may give a child a phone to keep them occupied or to make it easier to stay in contact when they are apart.

Despite these practical benefits, I believe that spending hours on a smartphone is largely a negative trend. Excessive screen use can reduce the time children spend sleeping, exercising and interacting face to face. For instance, a child who stays up watching videos may feel tired at school and find it harder to concentrate on lessons. Heavy use can also encourage a sedentary routine, while frequent notifications may interrupt homework and other activities that require sustained attention. Smartphones can certainly provide educational resources and help children communicate with family, but these advantages depend on age-appropriate content and sensible limits. Without supervision, entertainment can easily take up more time than learning or real-world play.

In conclusion, children’s prolonged smartphone use is driven by engaging online content, social expectations and the convenience these devices offer families. Although phones have useful purposes, the possible effects on children’s sleep, health and concentration make this a negative development when use is excessive.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace the two purpose statements in the introduction with one concise sentence that names the main causes and states your negative position.

After each cause, add a brief explanation of its effect on children’s screen time—for example, connect personalised recommendations to continued viewing.

Check collocations in the opening and conclusion, especially combinations with “spend,” “engrossed,” and “development,” before finalising the essay.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

8.0

Excellent

Words

306

Type

Task 2

Criteria Breakdown

Task Response

7.5 Band

The response answers both parts: it explains the appeal of apps, social contact and parental convenience, then clearly states that prolonged use is negative. The qualification that phones have benefits “when use is excessive” gives the position appropriate nuance. To strengthen the explanation further, develop one cause–effect link in a little more depth, such as how app design encourages children to keep scrolling.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.5 Band

The progression from causes to consequences is easy to follow, signposted by “Another reason” and “Despite these practical benefits.” The conclusion also brings both parts of the question together. The opening repeats its purpose across “This essay aims to explore” and “It also outlines,” which delays the discussion slightly. A more direct opening that states the position and previews the main causes would make the organisation more efficient.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

The answer uses relevant, varied language, including “constant stream,” “social pressure,” “sedentary routine” and “sustained attention.” However, the preserved opening phrase “spend considerable hours” is an unnatural collocation, and “engrossed in smartphone usage” sounds less idiomatic than the later wording. Review common verb–noun combinations and prefer concise expressions such as “spend many hours on their phones.”

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

7.0 Band

The response includes a good range of sentence forms, including the conditional “when there are few limits” and the contrast introduced by “Although phones have useful purposes.” Most sentences are controlled and clear. In the preserved opening, “It also outlines that it is a negative development” is an awkward clause pattern. Use a direct reporting verb with a clear subject, such as “I argue that this is a negative development,” and proofread the introduction for natural sentence construction.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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