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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

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194 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Describe the process as a sequence from the farm to retail, rather than treating the products as unrelated items.
Mention the cold-storage stage and daily tanker delivery as important links between milking and dairy processing.
Distinguish the two visible product outcomes: pasteurized, packaged milk and cheese, cream and butter.

Suggested structure

Introduce what the diagram depicts.
Give an overview of the start, end and main phases.
Describe milking, refrigerated storage and tanker delivery in sequence.
Explain the outputs at the dairy and finish with transport to shops.

Useful vocabulary & examples

refrigerated storage: a cooled place where milk is kept before further processing or transport
The milk is transferred to refrigerated storage after the cows are milked.
daily tanker delivery: milk being transported by tanker once each day
A tanker collects the stored milk for daily delivery to the dairy.
pasteurized and packaged: heat-treated to make it safer, then put into containers for sale
Some of the milk is pasteurized and packaged as drinking milk.
offered for sale: made available for customers to buy
The finished dairy products are transported to shops and offered for sale.

Task Prompt

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 4.0

The diagram represents the stages of milk manufacture. Overall, there are three main places where included in the process, the first is from the source of where the milk were obtained that is milch cow, the second is in the Dairy, and the last area is in market place. The step begin from the place where cows are kept. First, the cows graze in a field and they are milked by a machine two times a day. After this, the milk is put into a cold storage tank. A milk tanker takes it to the Dairy every day. At the Dairy, the milk is processed and some of it is made into cheese, cream and butter. The diagram also shows another part of the process, where milk is pasteurised and then put into packages. These packages are transported to supermarkets and shops, where people can buy them. The diagram does not show how long each stage takes, apart from the cows being milked twice daily and the tanker going to the dairy daily. In conclusion, milk is collected from cows, kept cold, delivered for processing, and then sold as milk or other dairy products.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Write the overview as one clear sentence that names the start, the main processing stages and the final destinations.

Check every verb against its subject: for example, “milk is” and “the process begins.”

Describe the diagram in arrow order, and include the two stated frequencies precisely: milking twice a day and tanker delivery every day.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

4.0

Modest

Words

194

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

4.5 Band

The overview identifies the cows, Dairy and market, while the body includes grazing, twice-daily milking, refrigerated storage, daily tanker delivery, and the production of packaged milk and other dairy products. However, the phrase “three main places” makes the process structure unclear, and the overview does not clearly summarise the main stages. Next, give a concise overview of the sequence and distinguish packaged milk from cheese, cream and butter.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5 Band

The continuation generally follows the diagram’s sequence, from “the cows graze in a field” to delivery and sale, and “First” helps signal the start. However, the opening sentence is difficult to follow, and the later sentence about stage durations interrupts the process description without adding much. Use short, ordered stages and connect each one with clear transitions such as “Next” and “Finally.”

Lexical Resource

4.5 Band

The answer uses relevant process vocabulary, including “cold storage tank,” “milk tanker,” “pasteurised” and “packages,” and names the outputs shown in the diagram. Some choices are inaccurate or awkward, notably “milch cow” and “market place,” while “milk manufacture” is less natural than “milk production.” Next, learn standard labels for the equipment, locations and products, and use them consistently.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.0 Band

Several later sentences are complete and use simple passive forms appropriately, as in “the milk is put into a cold storage tank.” However, the preserved opening contains repeated errors, including “where included in the process,” “the milk were obtained,” and “The step begin.” These make the main point hard to understand. Practise subject–verb agreement and sentence patterns for describing locations and process stages.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

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Band 5.03 examples

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

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Task Prompt

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