User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

183 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

Describe the process as a sequence from the farm to retail, rather than treating the products as unrelated items.
Mention the cold-storage stage and daily tanker delivery as important links between milking and dairy processing.
Distinguish the two visible product outcomes: pasteurized, packaged milk and cheese, cream and butter.

Suggested structure

Introduce what the diagram depicts.
Give an overview of the start, end and main phases.
Describe milking, refrigerated storage and tanker delivery in sequence.
Explain the outputs at the dairy and finish with transport to shops.

Useful vocabulary & examples

refrigerated storage: a cooled place where milk is kept before further processing or transport
The milk is transferred to refrigerated storage after the cows are milked.
daily tanker delivery: milk being transported by tanker once each day
A tanker collects the stored milk for daily delivery to the dairy.
pasteurized and packaged: heat-treated to make it safer, then put into containers for sale
Some of the milk is pasteurized and packaged as drinking milk.
offered for sale: made available for customers to buy
The finished dairy products are transported to shops and offered for sale.

Task Prompt

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

The diagram depicts information about the procedure by which milk and related goods are manufactured. After analyzing, it can be seen clearly that in the first step, grass is grazed by the cows; in the second step, a milk machine is used to take milk from the cows twice a day. In the third step, the milk is held in refrigeration storage and then transported by a milk tanker to a dairy once daily. At the dairy, it is processed into several products. Some of the milk is pasteurised and packaged, while the rest is used to produce cheese, cream and butter. The milking operation takes place twice a day, whereas the tanker makes its delivery once each day. Finally, packaged milk and the other dairy products are sent to supermarkets and shops for sale. Overall, the process starts with cows grazing and ends with dairy products reaching retail outlets, with the milk being divided into packaged milk and other dairy foods at the dairy. This means that the diagram shows both the collection of raw milk and its subsequent processing and distribution.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Write a one-sentence overview near the start that identifies the process’s beginning, ending and main branch into packaged milk and other dairy products.

Use the diagram’s specific terms: “milking machine,” “milk tanker,” “pasteurised,” and “refrigeration storage.”

Avoid repeating the frequencies: state that milking occurs twice daily and tanker delivery occurs once daily in the relevant process stages.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

7.0

Good

Words

183

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.0 Band

You cover the main stages, from “grass is grazed by the cows” to products reaching “supermarkets and shops,” and include the two frequency details shown: milking twice a day and tanker delivery once daily. The overview beginning “Overall” also identifies the process’s start, end and branching at the dairy. One refinement is to avoid repeating the frequency information and to describe the process’s key stages more directly.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.5 Band

The answer follows a mostly logical sequence, using “In the third step,” “At the dairy,” and “Finally” to guide the reader through the process. The overview at the end is useful, though it would be clearer nearer the beginning, before the detailed stages. The sentence starting “This means” largely restates the overview. Next, group the overview first, then describe collection, processing and delivery once each.

Lexical Resource

6.5 Band

There is relevant process vocabulary, including “refrigeration storage,” “pasteurised and packaged,” and “milk tanker.” However, “a milk machine” and “take milk” are less precise and natural than the diagram’s “milking machine” and a verb such as “collect.” “Related goods” is also broad for dairy products. Use the specific labels and vary process verbs such as collect, transport, process and package.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.0 Band

You use both passive forms, such as “is held” and “are sent,” and a complex contrast with “while,” which suits a process description. However, “After analyzing, it can be seen clearly” is an awkward construction because the implied analyzer is unclear. The opening also strings several stages together in a long sentence. Replace the opening with a direct overview and use separate sentences for the stages.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

Practice this prompt

Use the same topic in Hack Admission AI and compare your answer with this example.

Check your answer on this topic Browse all examples