User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

188 words AcademicTask 1Line Graph

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Identify the overall direction of each line separately: margarine and butter fall over the full period, while the low-fat variety rises after it appears and then declines.
Highlight key turning points: butter peaks in 1986, margarine reaches a plateau around 100 grams in 1991–1996, and the low-fat line surges by 2001.
Mention crossovers where they change the ranking: Low Fat & Reduced Spreads is highest in 2001, while butter and margarine are no longer the leading series.

Suggested structure

Introduce the graph, naming all three spreads, the years and the unit.
Give an overview that accurately summarises the different overall patterns and the late-period ranking.
Describe butter and margarine together, using their start values, peaks or plateaus and final values.
Describe the later-starting low-fat series and compare its 2001 peak with the other spreads.

Useful vocabulary & examples

reached a peak of: rose to its highest recorded value
Butter reached a peak of approximately 160 grams in 1986.
remained stable at: stayed at approximately the same level
Margarine consumption remained stable at around 100 grams from 1991 to 1996.
overtook both alternatives: became higher than the other two series
Low Fat & Reduced Spreads overtook both alternatives in 2001.
eased to: fell slightly or gradually to a lower value
The low-fat spread eased to about 70 grams by 2007.

Task Prompt

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The line graph illustrates the daily per capita consumption of three types of spreads from 1981 to 2007 in a specific country. Overall, the data indicates a general decline in the consumption of butter and margarine, whereas low-fat and reduced spreads demonstrated an initial increase followed by a decrease towards the end of the observed period. Butter was the most consumed spread at the beginning, at about 140 grams per person per day, and rose to a peak of roughly 160 grams in 1986. It then fell sharply to 100 grams in 1991 and continued downward, reaching around 70 grams in 1996 and 50 grams by 2007. Margarine started at approximately 90 grams, dipped to 80 grams in 1986, then climbed to 100 grams in 1991, where it remained until 1996. Thereafter, it declined, more markedly after 2001, to about 40 grams at the end. Low-fat and reduced spreads first appear in 1996, at around 10 grams. Their consumption then surged to approximately 85 grams in 2001 before falling to about 70 grams in 2007. By the final year, this category was the most consumed of the three.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Separate the overview from the detailed trend descriptions, then group the body information into paragraphs by spread or by contrasting patterns.

Add a direct final-year comparison: the graph shows low-fat and reduced spreads at about 70 grams, butter at about 50, and margarine at about 40.

Choose concise trend collocations such as “rose to a peak,” “fell steadily” and “recovered,” and use them only where they match the plotted direction.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

9.0

Excellent

Words

188

Type

Line Graph

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

8.5 Band

The overview accurately captures the main contrast: “a general decline in the consumption of butter and margarine” versus a rise and later fall in low-fat spreads. The body supports this with the key turning points and approximate figures, including butter’s 1986 peak and the low-fat category’s 2001 high. To make the comparison even sharper, explicitly contrast the three categories’ final values in one concise closing clause.

Coherence & Cohesion

8.0 Band

The response moves logically from an overview to separate descriptions of butter, margarine and low-fat spreads. Time markers such as “Thereafter” and “By the final year” help readers follow the trends. The paragraph is a single block, however, so the shifts between series are less visible. For a clearer visual structure, keep the overview separate and group the detailed trends into one or two body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

8.0 Band

There is useful variety in trend language, including “rose to a peak,” “fell sharply,” “surged” and “declined.” The wording also distinguishes the “most consumed” category at the start from the leader “by the final year.” Some phrases, such as “demonstrated an initial increase,” are more wordy than necessary. Prefer concise, precise collocations such as “rose initially,” while retaining the useful range of verbs.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

8.5 Band

The answer uses accurate complex sentence structures, including “whereas” for contrast and a relative clause in “where it remained until 1996.” Comparisons and time references are generally clear, and the preserved opening is completed naturally as “the observed period.” There is no need for major grammatical correction; as a refinement, vary the sentence openings so that several consecutive descriptions do not begin with the spread name.

Topic Band Distribution

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