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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 2 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

259 words AcademicTask 2
Task 2

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

  • Physical education can support students’ health and give them a way to manage the stress of academic demands.
  • Cookery teaches practical independence and helps students make informed choices about food.
  • Limited school time supports careful curriculum planning, but does not necessarily justify removing non-academic subjects altogether.

Suggested structure

  1. Introduce the pressure to succeed academically and state clearly whether you agree with removing non-academic subjects.
  2. Explain one benefit of physical education and connect it to students’ wellbeing or development.
  3. Explain one practical benefit of cookery and why it matters beyond the classroom.
  4. Acknowledge limited teaching time and propose balancing subjects instead of eliminating them.
  5. Restate your position and briefly summarise why a broad curriculum is valuable.
Useful vocabulary & examples
a balanced curriculum
A programme of study that includes different kinds of subjects rather than focusing on only one area.

A balanced curriculum can give students time to develop academic knowledge and practical skills.

manage academic stress
Deal with pressure arising from schoolwork or academic expectations.

Physical activity may help young people manage academic stress.

practical skills
Useful abilities that can be applied to everyday tasks and responsibilities.

Cookery lessons help pupils develop practical skills they can use at home.

allocate teaching time
Decide how available classroom time is divided among subjects or activities.

Schools can allocate teaching time carefully without removing non-academic subjects.

Task Prompt

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

User Essay Analysis

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Band 9.0

Academic achievement has increasingly become a priority for success in contemporary society. Consequently, young individuals face substantial pressure to excel in their studies, leading some to advocate for the removal of non-academic subjects, such as physical education and culinary arts, from school curricula. I firmly contend that such a stance is misguided and that a balanced curriculum is more beneficial than one focused exclusively on academic subjects.

To begin with, physical education contributes to students’ health and can help them manage the stress associated with demanding academic work. Regular exercise also develops discipline and cooperation, qualities that are valuable both inside and outside the classroom. Removing this subject could therefore harm students’ wellbeing without necessarily improving their academic results.

Cookery is similarly useful because it teaches children practical skills they may rely on throughout their lives. Learning to prepare simple meals can encourage independence and help young people make informed choices about food. These lessons complement academic study by connecting classroom learning with everyday responsibilities.

It is understandable that schools have limited teaching time and that core subjects need sufficient attention. However, this does not mean that non-academic subjects should be eliminated. Schools could instead allocate time carefully, ensuring that pupils receive a strong grounding in academic disciplines while retaining opportunities to develop physical, practical and social skills.

In conclusion, although academic achievement is important, removing physical education and cookery from the syllabus would be an unwise response to pressure on young people. A broad education can support students’ health, independence and future success as well as their studies.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
After each subject-specific benefit, add a short link explaining how that benefit supports students’ overall development or readiness for adult life.
2
Keep the counterargument concise, then make the proposed solution—balancing time rather than removing subjects—stand out clearly.
3
Choose direct wording such as “young people” when it is as precise as a more formal alternative; reserve specialised terms for ideas that genuinely need them.

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