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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 2 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

313 words AcademicTask 2
Task 2

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

  • Physical education can support students’ health and give them a way to manage the stress of academic demands.
  • Cookery teaches practical independence and helps students make informed choices about food.
  • Limited school time supports careful curriculum planning, but does not necessarily justify removing non-academic subjects altogether.

Suggested structure

  1. Introduce the pressure to succeed academically and state clearly whether you agree with removing non-academic subjects.
  2. Explain one benefit of physical education and connect it to students’ wellbeing or development.
  3. Explain one practical benefit of cookery and why it matters beyond the classroom.
  4. Acknowledge limited teaching time and propose balancing subjects instead of eliminating them.
  5. Restate your position and briefly summarise why a broad curriculum is valuable.
Useful vocabulary & examples
a balanced curriculum
A programme of study that includes different kinds of subjects rather than focusing on only one area.

A balanced curriculum can give students time to develop academic knowledge and practical skills.

manage academic stress
Deal with pressure arising from schoolwork or academic expectations.

Physical activity may help young people manage academic stress.

practical skills
Useful abilities that can be applied to everyday tasks and responsibilities.

Cookery lessons help pupils develop practical skills they can use at home.

allocate teaching time
Decide how available classroom time is divided among subjects or activities.

Schools can allocate teaching time carefully without removing non-academic subjects.

Task Prompt

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

User Essay Analysis

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Band 9.0

In today’s world, young people face increasing pressure to excel academically. Many argue that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cooking, should be removed from the school curriculum to allow children to concentrate solely on academic subjects. However, I disagree with this notion. These courses can provide significant benefits for some students and serve as an important part of a balanced education. Physical education encourages regular exercise and teaches pupils how to cooperate, follow rules and manage both winning and losing. These skills support mental health as well as social development, and they may even improve concentration in lessons. Cooking is equally practical: students can learn to prepare simple, nutritious meals, understand ingredients and become more independent at home. Such knowledge is useful regardless of whether a child later pursues higher education.

Removing these subjects would also disadvantage students whose strengths do not lie in traditional academic disciplines. Schools should help young people discover different abilities rather than define success only through examination results. For example, a pupil who struggles with written tests may gain confidence through sport or by mastering a useful cooking skill. This does not mean academic learning is unimportant; rather, a broader curriculum can motivate pupils and make school more inclusive.

Admittedly, school time is limited, and students need sufficient time for core subjects such as mathematics, science and languages. However, this is a reason to organise the timetable carefully, not to eliminate practical lessons altogether. Schools could teach these subjects in well-planned weekly sessions and connect them to academic learning—for instance, using nutrition to introduce basic science. This approach preserves time for examination preparation while ensuring that children develop everyday and interpersonal skills.

In conclusion, I disagree with removing physical education and cooking from the syllabus. Academic achievement matters, but it should not come at the expense of health, independence and a broad range of abilities.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Expand one practical example with a clear cause-and-effect chain—for instance, explain how learning to prepare nutritious meals could support independence and understanding of nutrition.
2
When presenting the timetable counterargument, name one specific way schools could protect core-subject time, then explain why that solution is realistic.
3
Review repeated general nouns such as “subjects” and “students”; replace them selectively with precise terms such as “lessons,” “pupils” or “practical classes” where the reference remains clear.

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