User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

256 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Describe the overall shift from scientific research to tourism before listing individual map features.
Compare what stayed the same (the pier, beach, natural spring and rocks) with what was added or replaced.
Group details by location: the western pier and beach, the central hotel and leisure facilities, and the eastern spring, rocks and lookout.

Suggested structure

Introduce what the two maps compare.
Give an overview of the island’s main change and any notable features that remain.
Describe the past layout, moving from west to east.
Describe the present layout in the same order and compare new facilities with former features.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be transformed into: to change substantially into a different kind of place or thing
Paradise Island has been transformed into a popular tourist destination.
remain in place: to continue to exist in the same location
The natural spring and the rocks remain in place on the eastern side.
be replaced by: to give way to something new in the same position or role
The small boat was replaced by a cruise ship.
inland from: away from the coast and towards the interior
The hotel complex is located inland from the beach.

Task Prompt

The diagram below show the condition of paradise island in the past and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The diagram illustrates the transformation of Paradise Island from the past to the present. Overall, the island has experienced several changes: much of the greenery has been deforested and converted into profitable businesses. Starting with the previous layout, at the western end of the island, there were a pier and a boating area. Moreover, adjacent to the pier, a beach was located on the north-western shore, while a scientific research station stood farther inland. Several groups of palm trees occupied the central part of the island. On the eastern side, there was a natural spring, with rocks at the north-eastern tip.

At present, the island has been developed for tourism and recreation. The beach remains in the north-west, and swimming is permitted there. The pier is still on the western coast, but a cruise ship now appears nearby. Inland, the former research station and most of the trees have been replaced by a hotel complex and a swimming pool, with the pool just north of the hotel. An open restaurant has been added near the centre, while a BBQ area and café are situated farther east. A cycle path is also marked in the southern-central area, and a route leads towards a scenic lookout in the north-east. The natural spring and rocks remain in the eastern part of the island, with the lookout added nearby. Overall, Paradise Island has shifted from a largely natural location with a research facility to a resort with several visitor amenities, while its beach, pier, spring and rocks have been retained.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace interpretations such as “profitable businesses” with features directly shown in the diagram, such as a hotel, restaurant, café and BBQ area.

Check singular and plural agreement in location descriptions; for example, use “there was a pier” but “there were rocks.”

Organise each map description by location—western shore, centre and eastern side—so readers can compare corresponding features more easily.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

9.0

Excellent

Words

256

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.5 Band

The response covers the main transformation and makes relevant comparisons, including that “the natural spring and rocks remain” while the research station and much of the greenery give way to visitor facilities. It also identifies the pool, hotel, restaurant, café and lookout. However, calling the new facilities “profitable businesses” goes beyond what the diagram establishes, and the boating area’s removal is not clearly stated. Next, use neutral labels and explicitly summarise the principal additions and removals.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The opening overview is followed by a past-layout description and then a present-day account, so the reader can follow the comparison. The shift signalled by “At present” is especially clear. However, “Moreover, adjacent to the pier” is an awkward transition into the remaining past features, and some present-day amenities are listed without a strong spatial sequence. Next, group details by area—west, centre and east—and use concise transitions between those areas.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

The answer uses varied, relevant location and change vocabulary, including “north-eastern tip,” “replaced by,” and “visitor amenities.” These choices help distinguish the island’s features and redevelopment. “Deforested” is less precise here because the diagram shows fewer trees, not the process or extent of deforestation, while “profitable businesses” adds an unsupported interpretation. Next, prefer observable map terms such as “removed,” “retained,” and “tourism facilities.”

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.5 Band

The response attempts a range of structures, including “while” contrasts and relative placement clauses such as “with the pool just north of the hotel.” Most sentences are clear, but the preserved phrase “there were a pier” has a subject–verb agreement error: the singular noun “pier” requires “was.” The opening sentence also has a long introductory sequence. Next, check agreement in there is/there are constructions and divide lengthy location descriptions into controlled clauses.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

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Band 5.03 examples

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