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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

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174 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Describe the overall shift from scientific research to tourism before listing individual map features.
Compare what stayed the same (the pier, beach, natural spring and rocks) with what was added or replaced.
Group details by location: the western pier and beach, the central hotel and leisure facilities, and the eastern spring, rocks and lookout.

Suggested structure

Introduce what the two maps compare.
Give an overview of the island’s main change and any notable features that remain.
Describe the past layout, moving from west to east.
Describe the present layout in the same order and compare new facilities with former features.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be transformed into: to change substantially into a different kind of place or thing
Paradise Island has been transformed into a popular tourist destination.
remain in place: to continue to exist in the same location
The natural spring and the rocks remain in place on the eastern side.
be replaced by: to give way to something new in the same position or role
The small boat was replaced by a cruise ship.
inland from: away from the coast and towards the interior
The hotel complex is located inland from the beach.

Task Prompt

The diagram below show the condition of paradise island in the past and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 4.0

The two maps represent the transformation of Paradise Island past and present constructing some tourist amenities. The island was palm trees dotted it, is the island surrounding by sea north and south. Over the period, the scientific research station was completely dissapeared with the addition at the present days of hotel complex with swimming pool; there is now also an open restaurant near the middle and a cafe on the eastern side. A barbecue area and a cycle path have been added nearby. At the north-west, the beach remains, and swimming is now permitted there. The pier is still on the western coast, while a cruise ship is shown further south-west. A scenic lookout has been built on the north-eastern side, close to the rocks. The natural spring is still present on the eastern side, and the sea continues to surround the island. Overall, most new facilities are concentrated in the central and western parts, while the spring and rocks remain in the east. The research station and small boat are no longer shown.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Write a one-sentence overview before the details, contrasting the island’s former natural character with its present tourist facilities.

Group map features by location: west and centre, then east and north-east; use accurate phrases such as “on the western coast” and “near the north-eastern rocks.”

Practise past-versus-present sentence pairs and check verb forms: for example, use “stood” for the former research station and “has been added” for a new facility.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

4.0

Modest

Words

174

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

5.0 Band

The response covers the main change from a less developed island to one with visitor facilities, and it identifies features that remain, such as “the natural spring” and “the rocks.” It also mentions the beach, pier, cruise ship and lookout. However, the overview arrives at the end, and the opening does not clearly summarise the overall transformation. Next, give the main contrast in a clear overview before describing the changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.0 Band

The answer moves from past conditions to present facilities and ends with a broad comparison, so its general sequence is appropriate. However, “The island was palm trees dotted it, is the island…” makes the opening difficult to follow, and several locations are listed without a strong grouping. Organise the details by area or by features retained and added, using clear sentence boundaries and location phrases.

Lexical Resource

4.0 Band

Relevant map vocabulary appears in phrases such as “hotel complex,” “cycle path” and “scenic lookout,” which helps identify specific developments. Some wording is imprecise or awkward, especially “constructing some tourist amenities” and “at the present days.” The spelling “dissapeared” is also incorrect. Learn and practise accurate collocations such as “tourist facilities were added” and “in the present-day map.”

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.0 Band

The continuation uses some clear present-tense sentences, including “The pier is still on the western coast,” but the preserved opening contains major form and sentence-structure problems. For example, “was palm trees dotted it” has an incorrect passive construction, while “the scientific research station was completely dissapeared” uses an incorrect verb form. Practise rewriting map descriptions with a subject, accurate verb and location phrase in each sentence.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

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Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

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