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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 5.0 Example

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223 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Describe the overall shift from scientific research to tourism before listing individual map features.
Compare what stayed the same (the pier, beach, natural spring and rocks) with what was added or replaced.
Group details by location: the western pier and beach, the central hotel and leisure facilities, and the eastern spring, rocks and lookout.

Suggested structure

Introduce what the two maps compare.
Give an overview of the island’s main change and any notable features that remain.
Describe the past layout, moving from west to east.
Describe the present layout in the same order and compare new facilities with former features.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be transformed into: to change substantially into a different kind of place or thing
Paradise Island has been transformed into a popular tourist destination.
remain in place: to continue to exist in the same location
The natural spring and the rocks remain in place on the eastern side.
be replaced by: to give way to something new in the same position or role
The small boat was replaced by a cruise ship.
inland from: away from the coast and towards the interior
The hotel complex is located inland from the beach.

Task Prompt

The diagram below show the condition of paradise island in the past and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 5.0

The maps illustrate the paradise island in past and the changes made over the passage of time. Looking from an overall perspective, the island has been changed from a natural island with only one structure to a tourist destination with significant changes in structure and infrastructure. In the past there was only one building in the western-central part of the island: a scientific research station. A beach was located on the north-west coast, while a pier and a boat were on the western shore. The island also contained several groups of trees, a natural spring in the east, and rocks near its north-eastern edge. The surrounding sea remained around the island.

At present, the island has been developed for visitors. The research station and most of the natural vegetation are no longer shown, and the boat has been replaced by a cruise ship beside the pier. The beach is now marked as suitable for swimming, and a swimming pool and hotel complex have been added in the western and central areas. Further east, visitors can use an open restaurant, a BBQ area and a café, while a scenic lookout occupies the north-eastern part of the island. A cycle path also runs around much of the island. The natural spring and rocks remain, although the spring is now part of the developed visitor area.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Revise the overview to mention both the change into a visitor destination and a key feature that remains, such as the pier or natural spring.

Use a consistent comparison order: describe the western side, then the central facilities, then the eastern features in each map.

Proofread the opening specifically for articles and passive constructions; replace “in past” with “in the past” and consider “the island has changed.”

AI Feedback

Overall Band

5.0

Modest

Words

223

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.0 Band

The overview that the island changed “from a natural island with only one structure to a tourist destination” identifies the main transformation. The completed response also covers key additions, including the hotel, pool, restaurant, café and cycle path, and notes surviving features such as the spring and rocks. One limitation is that the overview does not clearly state that the pier remains. Next, make the overview name the main retained feature as well as the development.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.0 Band

The response moves logically from the past map to the present map, using “In the past” and “At present” to make the comparison easy to follow. Grouping the present facilities by area also gives the description a workable sequence. However, the opening repeats the idea of change in “changes made over the passage of time” and “significant changes.” Remove one of these statements and use the space for a sharper comparison of what stayed and what changed.

Lexical Resource

6.0 Band

Specific labels such as “scientific research station,” “natural spring,” “scenic lookout” and “cruise ship” help describe the map accurately. The phrase “developed for visitors” also conveys the island’s new function. Some wording is less precise or repetitive: “changes made over the passage of time” is wordy, and “changes in structure and infrastructure” is broad. Use concise map language such as “visitor facilities were added” and avoid repeating the general idea of change.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5 Band

The completed response uses a range of sentence forms, including the contrast in “while a scenic lookout occupies the north-eastern part” and the relative clause “which” is not needed to follow its descriptions. However, the preserved opening contains clear issues in “in past” and the passive construction “has been changed from.” The rest is generally controlled, though the long opening sentence is cumbersome. Practise articles and choose a direct active form, such as “the island has changed.”

Topic Band Distribution

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Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 5.0 Example

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