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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

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174 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Identify the category that dominates throughout: social welfare leads in all three years, reaching its highest figure in 2014.
Separate steady increases from fluctuating or recovering patterns: health and wildlife rise each year, whereas social welfare falls before rebounding.
Notice categories that finish at or near their starting values: education returns to 8, while environment ends at 7 compared with 8 initially.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart by naming the measure, the six charity types and the 2012–2014 period.
Give an overview identifying the largest category and the broad direction of change.
Describe social welfare separately because its figures are much higher and fluctuate notably.
Group the remaining categories by pattern, comparing their starting, middle and final figures.
End with a concise comparison of which categories finished higher, level or lower than in 2012.

Useful vocabulary & examples

a steady upward path: A consistent increase across successive years.
Health followed a steady upward path, rising from 6 to 9.
fell before recovering: Decreased at first and then rose again.
Environment fell to 5 before recovering to 7.
returned to its starting figure: Ended at the same value as at the beginning.
Education returned to its starting figure of 8 in 2014.
edged up: Increased by a small amount.
Arts edged up from 3 to 4 in the final year.

Task Prompt

Task 1: The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The chart illustrates the financial contributions made by a single company to six distinct charities over the period from 2012 to 2014. Overall, the data reveals fluctuations in donations across all categories, with notable increases in social welfare and health, while other categories exhibited more varied trends. In terms of social welfare, the company contributed 22 in 2012, fell to 16 in 2013, and then climbed to 24 in 2014, the highest figure shown. Education and environment both received 8 in 2012. Education fell to 6 in 2013 before returning to 8 in 2014, whereas environment declined to 5 and recovered to 7. Health followed a steady upward path, rising from 6 to 7 and then 9. Donations to wildlife increased from 3 in 2012 to 4 in 2013 and 5 in 2014. Arts was unchanged at 3 in the first two years, before edging up to 4. Thus, social welfare attracted the largest contribution throughout, while most of the other categories ended 2014 above their 2012 levels; education returned to its starting figure.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Make the overview distinguish the two main patterns: social welfare and health increased overall, while education ended at its starting figure.

When describing each category, state the first and final figures and include the middle-year value where it changes the trend, as with social welfare’s dip in 2013.

Use comparisons to group information—for example, contrast education’s return to 8 with environment’s partial recovery from 5 to 7.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

9.0

Excellent

Words

174

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

8.5 Band

The answer gives a clear overview and covers all six categories with accurate figures, including the peak for social welfare at 24 and the steady rise in health from 6 to 9. The comparison that education returned to its starting figure also captures an important pattern. As an optional refinement, make the overview more specific by briefly noting that education finished level with 2012 while most other categories rose.

Coherence & Cohesion

8.5 Band

The answer moves logically from an overview to category-level details, and phrases such as “whereas environment declined to 5 and recovered to 7” make comparisons easy to follow. The final sentence usefully synthesises the smaller categories. To refine the organisation further, group related trends more explicitly—for example, pair education and environment, then discuss the three categories with steadily rising figures.

Lexical Resource

8.0 Band

The vocabulary is varied and appropriate for describing a chart: “climbed,” “recovered,” “steady upward path,” and “edging up” distinguish different movements without sounding forced. “Financial contributions” also clearly introduces the subject. One optional improvement is to vary the repeated general terms “categories” and “contribution” with precise references to individual charity types when summarising comparisons.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

8.5 Band

The response uses accurate sentence structures of different lengths, including contrasts with “whereas” and a participial phrase in “rising from 6 to 7 and then 9.” Tense and punctuation are consistent, and the numerical comparisons are expressed clearly. A useful next step is to retain this control while trying one concise compound sentence to compare two smaller categories directly; no correction is needed for the existing constructions.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

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