User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 6.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

198 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Identify the category that dominates throughout: social welfare leads in all three years, reaching its highest figure in 2014.
Separate steady increases from fluctuating or recovering patterns: health and wildlife rise each year, whereas social welfare falls before rebounding.
Notice categories that finish at or near their starting values: education returns to 8, while environment ends at 7 compared with 8 initially.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart by naming the measure, the six charity types and the 2012–2014 period.
Give an overview identifying the largest category and the broad direction of change.
Describe social welfare separately because its figures are much higher and fluctuate notably.
Group the remaining categories by pattern, comparing their starting, middle and final figures.
End with a concise comparison of which categories finished higher, level or lower than in 2012.

Useful vocabulary & examples

a steady upward path: A consistent increase across successive years.
Health followed a steady upward path, rising from 6 to 9.
fell before recovering: Decreased at first and then rose again.
Environment fell to 5 before recovering to 7.
returned to its starting figure: Ended at the same value as at the beginning.
Education returned to its starting figure of 8 in 2014.
edged up: Increased by a small amount.
Arts edged up from 3 to 4 in the final year.

Task Prompt

Task 1: The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 6.0

The bar chart illustrates how much money was funded to 6 types of charity, namely social welfare (SW), education, environment, health, wildlife, and arts, by a business between 2012 and 2014. Overall, increases could be seen in the amount of money for all types, except for a decrease in that of environment and a stability in donations to education. In 2012, social welfare received the largest donation, at 22, while the figure for this charity fell to 16 in 2013 before rising to 24 in 2014. Education and environment both received 8 in 2012. Education then dropped to 6 and returned to 8, so its total was unchanged across the period. In contrast, environment donations fell to 5 in 2013 and recovered to 7 in 2014, remaining slightly below its 2012 level. The amount for health rose steadily, from 6 in 2012 to 7 in 2013 and 9 in 2014. Smaller donations were made to wildlife and arts. Wildlife increased from 3 to 4 and then 5, whereas arts stayed at 3 in both 2012 and 2013 before reaching 4 in 2014. Thus, social welfare was the highest-funded charity throughout, while wildlife and arts were among the lowest.

Targeted Improvement Tips

State the endpoint pattern precisely in the overview: social welfare, health, wildlife and arts rose, education ended at its starting figure, and environment finished slightly lower.

Use consistent chart-reporting language such as “received,” “donations to,” and “the figure stood at”; avoid “money was funded to.”

After drafting, check that every category has a clear 2012-to-2014 comparison and that intermediate rises or falls, such as education’s dip to 6, are reported accurately.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

6.0

Competent

Words

198

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.0 Band

The response gives an overview and reports the main comparisons, including social welfare’s rise from 22 to 24 despite its dip, and environment’s fall from 8 to 7 overall. It also correctly identifies education as unchanged across the endpoints. The overview’s “increases ... for all types” is a little broad because education ends where it began. Make the endpoint comparison explicit in the overview, then select figures that support it.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.0 Band

The answer moves from an overview to category-by-category detail, and “In contrast” clearly signals the different pattern for environment. Grouping the highest figure first and then discussing the smaller categories gives the description a workable sequence. However, education and environment are initially grouped together despite their different overall trends. Separate the stable endpoint figure from the declining one, and use a clearer grouping for the remaining categories.

Lexical Resource

5.5 Band

The response uses relevant chart language such as “fell,” “recovered,” and “rose steadily,” which helps describe changes. However, “money was funded to 6 types of charity” is an imprecise collocation, and “a stability” is not a natural way to express an unchanged figure. Use “donations were made to” or “the amount donated to,” and describe the pattern as “remained stable” or “was unchanged.”

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5 Band

Most sentences communicate the figures clearly, and the answer uses simple comparisons and time clauses, as in “fell to 16 in 2013 before rising to 24 in 2014.” There are noticeable phrasing problems in the preserved opening, especially “a stability,” and the long overview sentence is awkwardly constructed. Practise building the overview with a direct subject and verb, such as “Donations rose in most categories, while…”, then check article use and sentence flow.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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