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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

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189 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Identify the category that dominates throughout: social welfare leads in all three years, reaching its highest figure in 2014.
Separate steady increases from fluctuating or recovering patterns: health and wildlife rise each year, whereas social welfare falls before rebounding.
Notice categories that finish at or near their starting values: education returns to 8, while environment ends at 7 compared with 8 initially.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart by naming the measure, the six charity types and the 2012–2014 period.
Give an overview identifying the largest category and the broad direction of change.
Describe social welfare separately because its figures are much higher and fluctuate notably.
Group the remaining categories by pattern, comparing their starting, middle and final figures.
End with a concise comparison of which categories finished higher, level or lower than in 2012.

Useful vocabulary & examples

a steady upward path: A consistent increase across successive years.
Health followed a steady upward path, rising from 6 to 9.
fell before recovering: Decreased at first and then rose again.
Environment fell to 5 before recovering to 7.
returned to its starting figure: Ended at the same value as at the beginning.
Education returned to its starting figure of 8 in 2014.
edged up: Increased by a small amount.
Arts edged up from 3 to 4 in the final year.

Task Prompt

Task 1: The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The chart presents the financial contributions made by a single company to six distinct charitable categories over a three-year period from 2012 to 2014. In summary, Social Welfare consistently received the highest allocation of donations, while the remaining funds were distributed among the other five categories, each exhibiting varying trends in their respective funding over the period. Social Welfare remained the clear leader, at 22 in 2012, before falling to 16 in 2013 and recovering to 24 in 2014. By contrast, donations to Education were 8 in the first year, dropped to 6, and then returned to 8. Environmental funding followed a similar but lower pattern, declining from 8 to 5 before rising to 7. Health was the only category besides Social Welfare to rise in each year, from 6 in 2012 to 7 in 2013 and 9 in 2014. Wildlife donations increased steadily, from 3 to 4 and then 5. Arts received 3 in both 2012 and 2013, followed by a small rise to 4 in the final year. Overall, the chart indicates that the company prioritised Social Welfare, while support for the other causes remained comparatively modest.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Make the overview more specific: state that Social Welfare was far ahead, while the other categories received much smaller donations.

Group figures by pattern where possible: compare Education and Environment together, then describe the steadily rising categories.

Use concise data language such as “rose from 3 to 5” and avoid repeating “donations” or “funding” when the category is already clear.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

9.0

Excellent

Words

189

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

8.0 Band

The overview correctly identifies Social Welfare as the leading recipient, and the body reports the main category figures accurately, for example, “falling to 16 in 2013 and recovering to 24 in 2014.” It also captures the overall increases for Health, Wildlife and Arts. The overview could be more informative by briefly contrasting Social Welfare’s much larger donations with the lower figures for all other causes. Keep selecting the standout comparisons alongside accurate details.

Coherence & Cohesion

8.0 Band

The response moves from an introduction and overview to a clear sequence of category comparisons, with “By contrast” and “Overall” helping signal relationships and conclusion. Grouping Education and Environment together also makes their similar patterns easy to follow. The overview’s phrase “varying trends” is broad, however, and the body then lists categories individually. Make the opening summary more specific by naming the main rise, fall and stable pattern before presenting details.

Lexical Resource

8.0 Band

The response uses appropriate chart vocabulary, including “donations,” “declining,” “recovering” and “increased steadily,” and these choices accurately describe the data. “Allocation of donations” and “respective funding” are understandable but slightly formal and repetitive in this context. For a more direct style, use concise expressions such as “donation totals” or “funding levels,” while retaining varied verbs to describe movement.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

8.0 Band

Sentence structures are controlled, including the contrast in “before falling to 16 in 2013 and recovering to 24 in 2014” and the complete comparison of Health across all three years. Tense and punctuation are consistent, and the extended sentences remain readable. As a refinement, vary the sentence openings in the data section so several categories do not follow the same subject-plus-figure pattern; combine related comparisons where this improves flow.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

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