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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

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219 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Identify the category that dominates throughout: social welfare leads in all three years, reaching its highest figure in 2014.
Separate steady increases from fluctuating or recovering patterns: health and wildlife rise each year, whereas social welfare falls before rebounding.
Notice categories that finish at or near their starting values: education returns to 8, while environment ends at 7 compared with 8 initially.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart by naming the measure, the six charity types and the 2012–2014 period.
Give an overview identifying the largest category and the broad direction of change.
Describe social welfare separately because its figures are much higher and fluctuate notably.
Group the remaining categories by pattern, comparing their starting, middle and final figures.
End with a concise comparison of which categories finished higher, level or lower than in 2012.

Useful vocabulary & examples

a steady upward path: A consistent increase across successive years.
Health followed a steady upward path, rising from 6 to 9.
fell before recovering: Decreased at first and then rose again.
Environment fell to 5 before recovering to 7.
returned to its starting figure: Ended at the same value as at the beginning.
Education returned to its starting figure of 8 in 2014.
edged up: Increased by a small amount.
Arts edged up from 3 to 4 in the final year.

Task Prompt

Task 1: The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

The bar graph delineates the proportion of the contribution level of a company for six distinct types of charity across a triennium, commencing in 2012. Overall, it is noticeable that social welfare was the most significant field in which the company spent its money. Moreover, the percentage of donations almost increased and stabilized in all six categories overall, although the year-to-year pattern was not uniform. Social welfare attracted by far the largest donations throughout the period, at about 22 in 2012, falling to 16 in 2013 before reaching 24 in 2014.

Education and environment received similar amounts at the beginning, with both at roughly 8 in 2012. Education then declined to 6 in 2013 and returned to 8 in 2014, while environmental donations fell more noticeably to 5 before recovering to around 7. By contrast, the amount allocated to health rose steadily, from approximately 6 in 2012 to 7 in 2013 and 9 in 2014.

Wildlife and the arts were the least-funded causes. Wildlife donations increased gradually from about 3 to 5 over the three years. Arts funding remained at approximately 3 in 2012 and 2013, then edged up to 4 in 2014. Overall, apart from education and environment, which finished near or slightly below their initial levels, the other causes received higher amounts in 2014 than in 2012.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace “almost increased and stabilized” with a trend summary that allows for variation, such as noting that most categories rose from 2013 to 2014.

Compare the six categories by meaningful patterns: the leading cause, the steadily rising category, and the two smallest causes.

Use “amount” or “donation level” rather than “percentage” unless the chart labels its figures as percentages.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

7.0

Good

Words

219

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.5 Band

The overview correctly identifies social welfare as the leading cause, and the response supports this with its figures of about 22, 16 and 24. It also covers all six categories and notes health’s steady rise. However, “almost increased and stabilized in all six categories” overgeneralises the trends: several categories fell between 2012 and 2013, and environment finished below its 2012 level. Describe the overall direction more precisely and distinguish exceptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The answer moves from an introduction and overview to useful category comparisons, grouping education with environment and wildlife with the arts. Transitions such as “By contrast” make the change in health’s pattern clear. The two overview statements partly repeat the same general point, though, and the final sentence revisits the overall trend. Make the overview more concise, then reserve the concluding comparisons for the data paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

6.5 Band

There is a varied range of reporting language, including “attracted,” “allocated,” “declined” and “edged up,” which helps describe changes without repeating one verb. Some phrasing is unnecessarily ornate or imprecise: “the proportion of the contribution level” is less natural than “the amounts donated,” and “almost increased” does not clearly describe a trend. Prefer direct chart-reporting collocations and use “amount” unless the chart specifies a percentage.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.5 Band

The response uses a mix of complex and simple structures, including the contrast in “while environmental donations fell” and the time sequence in “from approximately 6 in 2012 to 7 in 2013 and 9 in 2014.” Most sentences are readable and controlled. The phrase “the percentage of donations almost increased” is grammatically possible but semantically awkward, and “across a triennium” is cumbersome. Use straightforward noun phrases and check that modifiers express the intended trend.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

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