User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

177 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Identify the category that dominates throughout: social welfare leads in all three years, reaching its highest figure in 2014.
Separate steady increases from fluctuating or recovering patterns: health and wildlife rise each year, whereas social welfare falls before rebounding.
Notice categories that finish at or near their starting values: education returns to 8, while environment ends at 7 compared with 8 initially.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart by naming the measure, the six charity types and the 2012–2014 period.
Give an overview identifying the largest category and the broad direction of change.
Describe social welfare separately because its figures are much higher and fluctuate notably.
Group the remaining categories by pattern, comparing their starting, middle and final figures.
End with a concise comparison of which categories finished higher, level or lower than in 2012.

Useful vocabulary & examples

a steady upward path: A consistent increase across successive years.
Health followed a steady upward path, rising from 6 to 9.
fell before recovering: Decreased at first and then rose again.
Environment fell to 5 before recovering to 7.
returned to its starting figure: Ended at the same value as at the beginning.
Education returned to its starting figure of 8 in 2014.
edged up: Increased by a small amount.
Arts edged up from 3 to 4 in the final year.

Task Prompt

Task 1: The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 4.0

The chart given the donation to six different types of contribute by one company from 2012 to 2014. Overall, the donation given to Social welfare hold position highest , while Arts always lowest. The first year the general trend was steady increase. The general trend of the next years after is the same: increase and decrease. Social welfare had the largest amount in all three years, at about 22 in 2012, 16 in 2013 and 24 in 2014. It fell first and then rose strongly. Education and Environment had similar amounts. Education was 8 in 2012, 6 in 2013 and 8 in 2014. Environment was 8, 5 and 7 in the same years.

Health, Wildlife and Arts had lower figures. Health increased from about 6 in 2012 to 7 in 2013 and 9 in 2014. Wildlife also rose, from 3 to 4 and then 5. Arts stayed at 3 in 2012 and 2013, before reaching 4 in 2014. Overall, most charities received more in 2014 than in 2013, but the 2012 to 2013 changes were different across categories.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Rewrite the overview after checking the chart: identify social welfare as the largest throughout, and mention that arts and wildlife are tied at the bottom in 2012.

Group the details into two comparisons: social welfare against the other categories, then the five smaller categories, using exact year-by-year figures.

Proofread the opening sentence for a main verb, subject–verb agreement, articles, and spacing before punctuation.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

4.0

Modest

Words

177

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

4.5 Band

The completed response includes figures for all six charities and correctly describes social welfare as the largest category. However, the overview says “The first year the general trend was steady increase,” which does not match the chart: several categories fell or stayed level from 2012 to 2013. Arts is also tied with wildlife at the lowest level in 2012, rather than uniquely lowest. Next, base the overview on the main comparisons and check it against every year.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5 Band

The answer moves from an overview to category details, and the later grouping of “Health, Wildlife and Arts” makes the smaller figures easier to follow. However, “increase and decrease” is too vague to summarise the overall pattern, and the first overview claims contradict the later figures. Organise the body by the dominant category and the smaller categories, and use each paragraph to compare years rather than list them without a clear purpose.

Lexical Resource

4.0 Band

There is some useful chart language, including “largest amount,” “fell,” “rose strongly,” and “increased.” Repetition of “general trend” and “amount,” along with the incorrect word “contribute” in “types of contribute,” limits precision. “Hold position highest” is also not a natural way to describe a ranking. Learn and reuse accurate reporting phrases such as “received the highest donation” and “remained stable,” checking that each phrase fits the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5 Band

The later sentences generally use straightforward past-tense forms, such as “Health increased” and “Arts stayed.” The opening, though, has frequent errors: “The chart given” lacks a main verb, “donation … hold” has agreement problems, and “steady increase” needs an article. There is also an extra space before the comma in the overview. Practise complete subject–verb sentences and check articles, agreement, and punctuation in a final edit.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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