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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

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221 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Identify the category that dominates throughout: social welfare leads in all three years, reaching its highest figure in 2014.
Separate steady increases from fluctuating or recovering patterns: health and wildlife rise each year, whereas social welfare falls before rebounding.
Notice categories that finish at or near their starting values: education returns to 8, while environment ends at 7 compared with 8 initially.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart by naming the measure, the six charity types and the 2012–2014 period.
Give an overview identifying the largest category and the broad direction of change.
Describe social welfare separately because its figures are much higher and fluctuate notably.
Group the remaining categories by pattern, comparing their starting, middle and final figures.
End with a concise comparison of which categories finished higher, level or lower than in 2012.

Useful vocabulary & examples

a steady upward path: A consistent increase across successive years.
Health followed a steady upward path, rising from 6 to 9.
fell before recovering: Decreased at first and then rose again.
Environment fell to 5 before recovering to 7.
returned to its starting figure: Ended at the same value as at the beginning.
Education returned to its starting figure of 8 in 2014.
edged up: Increased by a small amount.
Arts edged up from 3 to 4 in the final year.

Task Prompt

Task 1: The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 4.0

Given is 4 piecharts depicting the data of the two different workers in town A and B from the period of two years between 1960 and 2010, mesured by percentages As we can be seen that the percentage of salers in both town A and B held the most sigificant in 1960. However in 2010, the chart itself gives no information about either town, workers or 2010; instead, it compares one company's donations to six charity types in 2012, 2013 and 2014. Overall, social welfare received by far the largest donations in every year, while arts and wildlife attracted the smallest amounts. Donations to most categories rose between 2013 and 2014. In 2012, around 22 units were donated to social welfare, compared with approximately 16 in 2013 and 24 in 2014. Education and environmental charities each received about 8 in 2012. Education then fell to 6 before returning to 8, whereas the environment figure dropped to roughly 5 in 2013 and recovered to 7 in 2014. Health donations increased steadily, from around 6 in 2012 to 7 and 9 in the following years. Wildlife also rose from about 3 to 4 and then 5. Arts remained at approximately 3 in the first two years and reached 4 in 2014. Thus, the largest increase was for social welfare from 2013 to 2014.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Before writing, name the visual accurately: this is one bar chart about a company’s donations to six charity types from 2012 to 2014.

Write an overview that identifies the dominant and smallest categories, then support it with the approximate figures shown for each year.

Reserve two minutes to check spelling, punctuation and sentence structure; pay special attention to phrases such as “As can be seen” and to the chart’s actual dates.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

4.0

Modest

Words

221

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

4.0 Band

The opening claims the graphic shows “4 piecharts” about workers in towns A and B, which conflicts with the supplied bar chart and its 2012–2014 charity data. The continuation does identify the chart’s real subject and gives useful comparisons, including social welfare’s lead and the smaller categories. However, the contradictory introduction seriously weakens task focus. Start with the correct chart description and base every comparison on the displayed years and charity types.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5 Band

The answer eventually uses a helpful overview (“Overall, social welfare received by far the largest donations”) and then groups details by categories and trends. However, the opening shifts abruptly from towns and workers to a company’s charity donations, so the report does not read as one consistent response. The final comparison is relevant, but the repeated transition from category to category could be more deliberate. Use a clear introduction, overview, then grouped comparisons.

Lexical Resource

4.0 Band

Some appropriate chart language appears later, such as “increased steadily” and “compared with approximately,” which helps describe trends and quantities. The opening includes misspellings and unsuitable wording, including “mesured” and “held the most sigificant,” while “piecharts” misidentifies the visual. These choices obscure meaning and reduce precision. Learn accurate terms for chart types, donations and proportions, and proofread spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.0 Band

The answer attempts longer sentences, and later constructions such as “Education then fell to 6 before returning to 8” are understandable. The opening has several control problems: “As we can be seen that” is not a grammatical construction, and “However in 2010,” is followed by information about a chart that covers different years. Punctuation is also missing after “percentages.” Practise complete, clearly punctuated sentences and check that each clause connects logically.

Topic Band Distribution

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

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