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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

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202 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

Identify the category that dominates throughout: social welfare leads in all three years, reaching its highest figure in 2014.
Separate steady increases from fluctuating or recovering patterns: health and wildlife rise each year, whereas social welfare falls before rebounding.
Notice categories that finish at or near their starting values: education returns to 8, while environment ends at 7 compared with 8 initially.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart by naming the measure, the six charity types and the 2012–2014 period.
Give an overview identifying the largest category and the broad direction of change.
Describe social welfare separately because its figures are much higher and fluctuate notably.
Group the remaining categories by pattern, comparing their starting, middle and final figures.
End with a concise comparison of which categories finished higher, level or lower than in 2012.

Useful vocabulary & examples

a steady upward path: A consistent increase across successive years.
Health followed a steady upward path, rising from 6 to 9.
fell before recovering: Decreased at first and then rose again.
Environment fell to 5 before recovering to 7.
returned to its starting figure: Ended at the same value as at the beginning.
Education returned to its starting figure of 8 in 2014.
edged up: Increased by a small amount.
Arts edged up from 3 to 4 in the final year.

Task Prompt

Task 1: The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The bar chart illustrates the amount of money, in millions, donated by a company to six types of charities from 2012 to 2014. Overall, social welfare consistently received the highest level of donations throughout the period, while the arts attracted the least funding. Donations to health, wildlife, and the arts showed a steady upward trend, although arts donations were unchanged between 2012 and 2013 before rising in 2014. Social welfare donations fell from approximately 22 million in 2012 to 16 million in 2013, then rose to a peak of about 24 million in 2014. Health funding increased each year, from around 6 million to 7 million and then 9 million. Wildlife donations also rose steadily, from about 3 million to 4 million and 5 million. In contrast, education and environmental donations both declined in 2013 before recovering in 2014. Education went from approximately 8 million to 6 million, then returned to 8 million. Environment donations fell from around 8 million to 5 million and subsequently rose to 7 million. Arts funding remained at about 3 million in the first two years and reached 4 million in 2014. Thus, despite varied patterns, all six categories received more funding in 2014 than in 2013.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Revise the overview so it separates categories with genuinely steady increases from arts, which stays level before rising.

Group the body by trend: describe the sharp social-welfare fluctuation together, then cover steady risers, and finish with education and environment.

Check each category against all three chart bars before using words such as “steady,” “highest,” or “least”; retain approximate values where exact labels are not shown.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

9.0

Excellent

Words

202

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.0 Band

The overview identifies the dominant category and the generally low arts figures, and the body covers all six charities with useful year-by-year comparisons. However, “the arts showed a steady upward trend” is not accurate: arts donations stayed near 3 million in both 2012 and 2013 before rising. The later qualification partly clarifies this, but the overview should distinguish arts from the steadily rising health and wildlife figures.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The response moves from an overview to category details, and links such as “In contrast” help signal the shift to education and environment. The final sentence gives a useful overall comparison. However, social welfare, health and wildlife are discussed before the two declining-and-recovering categories, while the arts figure is repeated in the overview and body. Grouping categories by trend and avoiding that repetition would make the progression more economical.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

The answer uses appropriate chart language, including “donations,” “funding,” “declined,” and “recovered,” and varies expressions for changes. “A peak of about 24 million” clearly conveys the highest value. Some wording is less precise: “the highest level of donations” is slightly cumbersome, and “steady upward trend” overgeneralises the arts pattern. Use concise comparison language and reserve trend labels for categories that follow that pattern throughout.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

7.5 Band

The response shows good control of complex sentences, for example “although arts donations were unchanged … before rising in 2014,” and it handles past-tense descriptions consistently. No significant grammatical error interferes with meaning. For a more polished report, tighten some repeated sentence patterns and make the overview’s trend description precise; the main weakness here is not sentence accuracy but how the trend claim is expressed.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

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