User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 8.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

200 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Compare the sexes by age band: men have the higher rate only among 15–24-year-olds.
Describe the contrasting patterns: the male rate falls to a low among 35–44-year-olds before recovering, while the female rate rises to a plateau above 50% from ages 35 to 64.
Highlight the endpoint: the two rates are almost equal among people aged 65 and over.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart, population, measure, age groups, and year.
Give an overview of the main gender contrast and the near-equal oldest-group figures.
Describe the male figures across the age groups, noting the low and later recovery.
Describe the female figures, noting the rise and peak, then compare the oldest group.

Useful vocabulary & examples

participation rate: The percentage of a group taking part in an activity.
The male participation rate reached its lowest point among 35–44-year-olds.
reach a low: Fall to the smallest value in the figures being discussed.
The figure for men reached a low of roughly 39% in the 35–44 age group.
peak at: Reach the highest value in a set of figures.
Female participation peaked at approximately 53% in two age groups.
remain almost level: Be very similar, with only a small difference.
The male and female rates remained almost level among those aged 65 and over.

Task Prompt

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 8.0

The bar chart given below indicates the data from Australia that provides the proportion of males and females in various age intervals who train themselves regularly in 2010. It is noticeable that there is a higher proportion of women who exercise regularly than men in every age group except for the women who were 15 to 24 years old, when the male figure was higher.

Overall, participation was higher for women in five of the six age groups, while the two rates were close among people aged 65 and over. Men led only in the youngest category.

Men's rate was about 53% among 15–24-year-olds, versus 48% for women. It fell to roughly 42% in the 25–34 group and a low of 39% among 35–44-year-olds. Thereafter, it rose to around 43% for ages 45–54 and 45% for 55–64, ending at approximately 46% in the oldest group.

For women, participation rose from about 48% in the youngest group to 49% among 25–34-year-olds and approximately 52% for those aged 35–44. It then stayed close to 53% in both the 45–54 and 55–64 brackets, before declining to around 47% among people aged 65 and over.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace the indirect chart introduction with a direct statement of what is compared, and use past tense consistently when describing the 2010 figures.

Make the overview explicitly state both main features: women had higher rates in five age groups, while men led only among 15–24-year-olds.

Check each age band against the visual and use approximate figures consistently; then compare the male and female trends in clearly separated detail paragraphs.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

8.0

Excellent

Words

200

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.0 Band

The response identifies the main pattern accurately: “participation was higher for women in five of the six age groups,” while men led among 15–24-year-olds. It also covers the gradual rise in men’s later-age figures and the broadly stable female rates. The approximate figures align with the chart. The opening’s “except for the women” makes the exception less direct than it could be; state the age group itself as the exception for clearer task coverage.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.5 Band

The answer moves from an overview to separate male and female comparisons, which makes the six categories easy to follow. “Thereafter” and “before declining” help signal changes across age groups. The initial sentence is long and its exception is awkwardly framed, which briefly obscures the main comparison. For a smoother progression, give the overview in a concise standalone sentence and use consistent age-band labels in the detail paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

6.5 Band

There is useful chart language, including “participation,” “a low of 39%,” and “stayed close to 53%.” However, “data from Australia that provides the proportion” and “train themselves regularly” are unnatural collocations for describing a chart and physical activity. Prefer direct, precise wording such as “compares the proportions” and “did regular physical activity.” Keep the varied terms for increases and stability, but avoid unnecessary paraphrase.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.5 Band

Most of the added comparisons use clear sentence patterns, for example, “It fell to roughly 42% … and a low of 39%.” The preserved opening has a tense mismatch in “who train themselves regularly in 2010,” and the long construction “except for the women who were 15 to 24 years old” is cumbersome. Use past tense for the 2010 data and make the exception a concise age-group phrase; retain the otherwise effective mix of simple and complex sentences.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.02 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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