User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

213 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Compare the sexes by age band: men have the higher rate only among 15–24-year-olds.
Describe the contrasting patterns: the male rate falls to a low among 35–44-year-olds before recovering, while the female rate rises to a plateau above 50% from ages 35 to 64.
Highlight the endpoint: the two rates are almost equal among people aged 65 and over.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart, population, measure, age groups, and year.
Give an overview of the main gender contrast and the near-equal oldest-group figures.
Describe the male figures across the age groups, noting the low and later recovery.
Describe the female figures, noting the rise and peak, then compare the oldest group.

Useful vocabulary & examples

participation rate: The percentage of a group taking part in an activity.
The male participation rate reached its lowest point among 35–44-year-olds.
reach a low: Fall to the smallest value in the figures being discussed.
The figure for men reached a low of roughly 39% in the 35–44 age group.
peak at: Reach the highest value in a set of figures.
Female participation peaked at approximately 53% in two age groups.
remain almost level: Be very similar, with only a small difference.
The male and female rates remained almost level among those aged 65 and over.

Task Prompt

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

The bar graph provided shows a comparison of the levels of physical exercise among Australian men and women in different age groups in the year 2010. In 2010, the percentage of teenage boys who engaged in daily physical exercise was 52.8%. This percentage slightly decreased among individuals aged 25 to 34, reaching about 42.2%. Among men aged 35 to 44, the figure fell further to approximately 39.5%, its lowest point. It then rose to 43.1% among those aged 45 to 54 and 45.1% for men aged 55 to 64. In the oldest group, the proportion was about 46.7%. For women, the rate was approximately 47.7% among 15- to 24-year-olds and 48.9% in the 25-to-34 group. It increased to around 52.5% for women aged 35 to 44, and peaked at about 53.3% among those aged 45 to 54. The figure remained close to this level, at roughly 53%, for 55- to 64-year-olds, before declining to about 47.1% in the oldest category. Overall, women were more active than men in every age group except the youngest and oldest categories, where men recorded slightly higher figures. Men's rate reached a low in middle age before recovering, while women's was comparatively stable from 35 to 64.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace “teenage boys” and “daily physical exercise” with wording that matches the chart: males aged 15–24 and regular physical activity.

Change “slightly decreased” to “fell markedly” for the male rate from 52.8% to 42.2%, and check that each trend description reflects the size and direction of the change.

Move the overall comparison to the end of the introduction, then use one paragraph for men and one for women to make the chart’s patterns quicker to identify.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

7.0

Good

Words

213

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.5 Band

The response covers both sexes and all six age groups, and the concluding comparison—“women were more active than men in every age group except the youngest and oldest categories”—captures the main pattern. However, the preserved phrase “slightly decreased” understates the fall from 52.8% to 42.2%, and “teenage boys” and “daily” do not accurately describe the chart’s 15–24 male group and regular activity. Use chart categories and describe this as a marked drop.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The answer is easy to follow: it moves through the male figures, then the female figures, and ends with a useful overview. Phrases such as “It then rose” and “For women” help signal the sequence and comparison. The overview comes only at the end, after several details, so the key message is less immediate. Add a concise overall-summary sentence directly after the introduction, then present the figures in the same grouped order.

Lexical Resource

6.5 Band

There is appropriate chart language in “the figure fell further,” “its lowest point,” and “peaked,” which helps describe trends without excessive repetition. Some wording is less precise: “daily physical exercise” changes the task’s meaning, while “levels of physical exercise” is less direct than describing participation rates. Replace these with terms such as “regular physical activity” and “the proportion,” and vary trend verbs only where they accurately reflect the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

7.0 Band

The answer uses a range of accurate sentence forms, including the relative clause in “women aged 45 to 54” and the contrast in “before declining to about 47.1%.” Age-range phrases are generally readable. The opening section has some wordiness, especially “among individuals aged 25 to 34, reaching about 42.2%,” and the preserved “Among” requires its continuation to complete the sentence. Tighten long descriptions while keeping clear subjects and verbs.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.02 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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