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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

200 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • Compare the sexes by age band: men have the higher rate only among 15–24-year-olds.
  • Describe the contrasting patterns: the male rate falls to a low among 35–44-year-olds before recovering, while the female rate rises to a plateau above 50% from ages 35 to 64.
  • Highlight the endpoint: the two rates are almost equal among people aged 65 and over.

Suggested structure

  1. Introduce the chart, population, measure, age groups, and year.
  2. Give an overview of the main gender contrast and the near-equal oldest-group figures.
  3. Describe the male figures across the age groups, noting the low and later recovery.
  4. Describe the female figures, noting the rise and peak, then compare the oldest group.
Useful vocabulary & examples
participation rate
The percentage of a group taking part in an activity.

The male participation rate reached its lowest point among 35–44-year-olds.

reach a low
Fall to the smallest value in the figures being discussed.

The figure for men reached a low of roughly 39% in the 35–44 age group.

peak at
Reach the highest value in a set of figures.

Female participation peaked at approximately 53% in two age groups.

remain almost level
Be very similar, with only a small difference.

The male and female rates remained almost level among those aged 65 and over.

Task Prompt

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The bar chart presented illustrates the proportion of Australian men and women engaging in regular physical activity across various age groups in the year 2010. Overall, the data reveals that a higher percentage of young men participated in physical activity compared to their female counterparts, whereas the trend reversed among the older demographics, with women recording higher participation rates in every age group from 25 to 64, while the figures were almost equal among those aged 65 and over. Among 15–24-year-olds, approximately 53% of men were active, compared with about 48% of women. The male figure then fell to around 42% for ages 25–34 and reached a low of roughly 39% among those aged 35–44. It subsequently recovered, rising to about 43% and 45% in the next two age groups, before reaching approximately 46% among people aged 65 and over. By contrast, female participation increased from about 48% in the youngest group to around 49% among 25–34-year-olds. It then exceeded 50% in each group aged 35–64, peaking at approximately 53% in both the 45–54 and 55–64 groups. In the oldest group, the female rate fell to about 47%, almost matching the male figure.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Make the overview specific: state that men lead only in the 15–24 group, while women lead from 25–64 and the oldest group is nearly level.
2
Check the six age bands against the chart before drafting; report approximate figures consistently and include the male low and female peaks.
3
Reduce repetition by alternating terms such as “rate,” “proportion,” and “participation,” and divide long overview sentences when they contain several comparisons.

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