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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

188 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • Compare the sexes by age band: men have the higher rate only among 15–24-year-olds.
  • Describe the contrasting patterns: the male rate falls to a low among 35–44-year-olds before recovering, while the female rate rises to a plateau above 50% from ages 35 to 64.
  • Highlight the endpoint: the two rates are almost equal among people aged 65 and over.

Suggested structure

  1. Introduce the chart, population, measure, age groups, and year.
  2. Give an overview of the main gender contrast and the near-equal oldest-group figures.
  3. Describe the male figures across the age groups, noting the low and later recovery.
  4. Describe the female figures, noting the rise and peak, then compare the oldest group.
Useful vocabulary & examples
participation rate
The percentage of a group taking part in an activity.

The male participation rate reached its lowest point among 35–44-year-olds.

reach a low
Fall to the smallest value in the figures being discussed.

The figure for men reached a low of roughly 39% in the 35–44 age group.

peak at
Reach the highest value in a set of figures.

Female participation peaked at approximately 53% in two age groups.

remain almost level
Be very similar, with only a small difference.

The male and female rates remained almost level among those aged 65 and over.

Task Prompt

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women of different ages who engaged in regular exercise in the year 2010. Overall, female participation generally increased with age, while the reverse was true for males until middle age, and males experienced a lower peak and trough than the corresponding figures for females. In the youngest group, men recorded the highest male figure, at about 52%, compared with approximately 48% for women. The pattern then reversed: female participation stood at just under 50% among 25- to 34-year-olds, while the male rate fell to around 42%. The gap was widest in the 35–44 group, where roughly 52% of women exercised regularly, compared with about 39% of men. Among people aged 45–54 and 55–64, women's rates were almost unchanged, at approximately 53%, whereas the corresponding male proportions rose from about 43% to 45%. In the oldest group, the figures converged, with around 47% of women and 46% of men being physically active. Thus, women were more active than men in every age band except the youngest, and the largest difference occurred among those aged 35–44.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Revise the overview to mention both the women’s decline in the oldest group and the men’s steady rise after age 35–44.
2
Check every age band against the chart before writing: women lead in all groups except 15–24, and the widest gap is at 35–44.
3
Replace figurative wording such as “peak and trough” with precise descriptions of the highest and lowest percentages.

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