User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

178 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

Compare the sexes by age band: men have the higher rate only among 15–24-year-olds.
Describe the contrasting patterns: the male rate falls to a low among 35–44-year-olds before recovering, while the female rate rises to a plateau above 50% from ages 35 to 64.
Highlight the endpoint: the two rates are almost equal among people aged 65 and over.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart, population, measure, age groups, and year.
Give an overview of the main gender contrast and the near-equal oldest-group figures.
Describe the male figures across the age groups, noting the low and later recovery.
Describe the female figures, noting the rise and peak, then compare the oldest group.

Useful vocabulary & examples

participation rate: The percentage of a group taking part in an activity.
The male participation rate reached its lowest point among 35–44-year-olds.
reach a low: Fall to the smallest value in the figures being discussed.
The figure for men reached a low of roughly 39% in the 35–44 age group.
peak at: Reach the highest value in a set of figures.
Female participation peaked at approximately 53% in two age groups.
remain almost level: Be very similar, with only a small difference.
The male and female rates remained almost level among those aged 65 and over.

Task Prompt

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

The bar graph illustrates the proportion of males and females across various age groups engaging in daily physical exercises in Australia in 2010. Overall, females exhibited higher participation rates than males in physical activities. Males aged 15-24 were the most active, while females in the 45-54 and 55-64 age groups showed the highest engagement in 2010, at approximately 53% each. The male figure began at about 53% among 15-24-year-olds, then declined to around 42% for those aged 25-34 and reached a low of roughly 40% in the 35-44 group. It subsequently recovered, rising to about 43% among 45-54-year-olds and 45% for those aged 55-64, before reaching approximately 47% in the oldest group. Female participation, by comparison, rose from around 48% in the youngest group to just under 50% among 25-34-year-olds. It then stayed relatively high at about 52-53% for those aged 35-64, before falling to roughly 47% among people aged 65 and over. Thus, women recorded higher rates in the four middle groups, whereas men led among 15-24-year-olds and the figures were nearly equal in the oldest category.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace “daily physical exercises” with wording that matches the chart: “regular physical activity.”

Qualify the overview comparison: women had higher rates in most age groups, while men led in the 15-24 group.

Check each age-group comparison against the bars, especially where values are close, and report figures as approximate rather than overly exact.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

7.0

Good

Words

178

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.5 Band

The completed answer covers all six age groups and gives a useful overview, including the male peak and the high female rates in the middle age groups. It also supports the trends with approximate figures. However, “daily physical exercises” does not match the chart’s measure of regular activity, and the overview’s claim that females had higher rates is too broad: men lead in the youngest group. Next, use the chart’s wording and qualify the comparison as applying to most age groups.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The answer moves clearly from an overview to the male trend, then the female trend, and finishes with a comparison. Phrases such as “It subsequently recovered” make the change in the male figures easy to follow. The two gender-focused descriptions are logical, though the final sentence partly repeats the overview. To make the comparison more integrated, briefly contrast the genders within the age-group progression, while retaining the clear overview-first structure.

Lexical Resource

6.5 Band

The answer uses suitable chart language, including “proportion,” “participation rates,” and “declined,” and varies its descriptions of changes. However, “daily physical exercises” is an inaccurate choice for the chart’s regular-activity measure, and “engagement” is less precise than “activity rate” in this context. Use consistent terms such as “the percentage who did regular physical activity” and reserve varied verbs for describing actual rises and falls.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

7.0 Band

The completed answer controls a range of sentence structures, including the contrast in “whereas men led” and the participial phrase “rising to about 43%.” Age ranges and approximate figures are incorporated clearly, with no major sentence-level problems. The phrase “showed the highest engagement in 2010” is grammatical but slightly awkward because it can sound as though engagement is being located in time. Consider “recorded the highest rates, at approximately 53%.”

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.02 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

Practice this prompt

Use the same topic in Hack Admission AI and compare your answer with this example.

Check your answer on this topic Browse all examples