User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 8.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

173 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Compare the sexes by age band: men have the higher rate only among 15–24-year-olds.
Describe the contrasting patterns: the male rate falls to a low among 35–44-year-olds before recovering, while the female rate rises to a plateau above 50% from ages 35 to 64.
Highlight the endpoint: the two rates are almost equal among people aged 65 and over.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart, population, measure, age groups, and year.
Give an overview of the main gender contrast and the near-equal oldest-group figures.
Describe the male figures across the age groups, noting the low and later recovery.
Describe the female figures, noting the rise and peak, then compare the oldest group.

Useful vocabulary & examples

participation rate: The percentage of a group taking part in an activity.
The male participation rate reached its lowest point among 35–44-year-olds.
reach a low: Fall to the smallest value in the figures being discussed.
The figure for men reached a low of roughly 39% in the 35–44 age group.
peak at: Reach the highest value in a set of figures.
Female participation peaked at approximately 53% in two age groups.
remain almost level: Be very similar, with only a small difference.
The male and female rates remained almost level among those aged 65 and over.

Task Prompt

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 8.0

The provided bar graph illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females engaged in regular physical activity across various age brackets in the year 2020. Overall, it is evident that the participation of females in physical exercise surpassed that of males across the age groups in 2020. In more detail, the data reveals that females were more active than males in most age groups. Among those aged 15–24, however, men had the highest male figure, at about 52%, compared with roughly 47% for women. For the 25–34 and 35–44 groups, female participation rose to around 49% and 52%, while male rates fell to approximately 42% and 39%, respectively. Female activity then remained fairly steady at about 53% among people aged 45–54 and 55–64. In these groups, the corresponding male proportions were lower, at around 43% and 45%. In the oldest category, both sexes recorded roughly 47%. Overall, men's rate declined from its peak in the youngest group before recovering gradually, whereas women's rate increased and then levelled off.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Check the chart title before drafting: it reports data for 2010, so make the year consistent throughout.

Write an overview that includes the exceptions: women lead in most groups, men lead in the youngest group, and the oldest group is approximately equal.

After drafting, compare each age group against the bars and verify that every percentage and trend is assigned to the correct sex.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

8.0

Excellent

Words

173

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

5.5 Band

The continuation selects relevant comparisons and gives a useful overview of the contrasting trends. However, the preserved statement that women were ahead “across the age groups” is inaccurate: men lead among 15–24-year-olds, and the sexes are approximately level in the oldest group. The repeated reference to “2020” also conflicts with the chart’s 2010 date. Check the title and qualify the overview to match the exceptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The answer moves logically from an overview to age-group details, then closes by summarising the opposing trends. Phrases such as “For the 25–34 and 35–44 groups” make the comparisons easy to follow. The later “Overall” repeats the opening overview, though, and the first overview overgeneralises. Keep one concise overview and use the ending for a final comparison only if it adds new information.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

There is a good range of chart language, including “participation,” “proportions,” “remained fairly steady,” and “levelled off.” These expressions describe changes and comparisons precisely. “Males and females” and “physical exercise” are understandable, but “men and women” and the chart’s own phrase, “physical activity,” would sound more direct and consistent. Vary wording without using unnecessarily formal alternatives.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

7.5 Band

The answer uses a range of well-controlled structures, including contrast with “however,” a comparison with “while,” and a paired trend summary using “whereas.” Age ranges and percentages are also integrated clearly into sentences. No clear grammatical error stands out in the supplied and completed text; the main accuracy concern is factual rather than grammatical. For a final check, match every date and comparison to the visual.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.02 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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