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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 5.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

189 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • Compare the sexes by age band: men have the higher rate only among 15–24-year-olds.
  • Describe the contrasting patterns: the male rate falls to a low among 35–44-year-olds before recovering, while the female rate rises to a plateau above 50% from ages 35 to 64.
  • Highlight the endpoint: the two rates are almost equal among people aged 65 and over.

Suggested structure

  1. Introduce the chart, population, measure, age groups, and year.
  2. Give an overview of the main gender contrast and the near-equal oldest-group figures.
  3. Describe the male figures across the age groups, noting the low and later recovery.
  4. Describe the female figures, noting the rise and peak, then compare the oldest group.
Useful vocabulary & examples
participation rate
The percentage of a group taking part in an activity.

The male participation rate reached its lowest point among 35–44-year-olds.

reach a low
Fall to the smallest value in the figures being discussed.

The figure for men reached a low of roughly 39% in the 35–44 age group.

peak at
Reach the highest value in a set of figures.

Female participation peaked at approximately 53% in two age groups.

remain almost level
Be very similar, with only a small difference.

The male and female rates remained almost level among those aged 65 and over.

Task Prompt

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 5.0

The broad assessment of the data reveals that male and female population of Australia did sport regularly in 2010 in all ages in almost similar proportion. The main feature of this research, women were the most physical active in all age more than men. The exeption were only women from 15 to 24 years old—in this group, men recorded a higher rate, at roughly 53%, compared with approximately 48% for women. Among people aged 25 to 34, the female figure was close to 49%, while the male figure was about 42%. The gap was wider in the 35-to-44 group, with around 52% of women exercising regularly, compared with approximately 39% of men. Women’s rates then remained at about 53% for both the 45-to-54 and 55-to-64 groups, while the corresponding male figures rose gradually, from roughly 43% to 45%. In the oldest group, people aged 65 and over, the proportions were almost equal, at approximately 47% for both sexes. Overall, men’s participation was highest in the youngest group and lowest among those aged 35 to 44, whereas women’s rate was lowest among 15-to-24-year-olds and highest in the middle-aged groups.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Replace the first two sentences with a direct chart introduction and an overview that accurately notes women’s higher rates in most groups, men’s lead among 15–24-year-olds, and the near tie among the oldest group.
2
Check that each comparison includes both age group and sex, then use approximate figures consistently where the chart labels are not exact.
3
Proofread the overview separately for articles, subject–verb agreement, spelling, and complete sentence structure.

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