User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 5.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

208 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

Compare the sexes by age band: men have the higher rate only among 15–24-year-olds.
Describe the contrasting patterns: the male rate falls to a low among 35–44-year-olds before recovering, while the female rate rises to a plateau above 50% from ages 35 to 64.
Highlight the endpoint: the two rates are almost equal among people aged 65 and over.

Suggested structure

Introduce the chart, population, measure, age groups, and year.
Give an overview of the main gender contrast and the near-equal oldest-group figures.
Describe the male figures across the age groups, noting the low and later recovery.
Describe the female figures, noting the rise and peak, then compare the oldest group.

Useful vocabulary & examples

participation rate: The percentage of a group taking part in an activity.
The male participation rate reached its lowest point among 35–44-year-olds.
reach a low: Fall to the smallest value in the figures being discussed.
The figure for men reached a low of roughly 39% in the 35–44 age group.
peak at: Reach the highest value in a set of figures.
Female participation peaked at approximately 53% in two age groups.
remain almost level: Be very similar, with only a small difference.
The male and female rates remained almost level among those aged 65 and over.

Task Prompt

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 5.0

The bar graph depicts the proportion of Australian people who did regular physical activity according to their age groups in the period of 2010. Overall, it is apparent from the provided information that, the proportion of females were more engaged in outdoor activities compared to men in the period of time. Getting into details portrayed the following pattern: among men, participation was highest in the youngest group, at about 53%, before falling to around 42% among those aged 25 to 34 and roughly 40% for the 35 to 44 group. It then increased gradually, reaching approximately 47% in the oldest group. For women, the figure was about 48% among 15- to 24-year-olds and rose to around 49% in the next age group. It then stayed close to 53% for women aged 35 to 64, before dropping to approximately 47% for those aged 65 and over. In most age groups, women recorded higher participation than men, with the clearest difference among 35- to 44-year-olds. However, men were more active in the youngest group, while the two figures were almost equal for people aged 65 and over. The main trend for men was a rise after the middle-age low, whereas women’s rates were comparatively steady across the adult age groups.

Targeted Improvement Tips

State the chart’s measure as regular physical activity; do not describe it as outdoor activity unless the chart says so.

Write a balanced overview that notes women’s higher rates in most age groups, men’s higher rate among 15–24-year-olds, and near equality among those aged 65 and over.

Before submitting, check singular head nouns such as “proportion” for correct verb agreement and remove unnecessary phrases such as “in the period of 2010.”

AI Feedback

Overall Band

5.0

Modest

Words

208

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

5.0 Band

The completed answer includes an overview and covers the main age-group patterns, including the male low around 40% and women’s higher rates through much of the chart. However, “outdoor activities” is not supported by the visual, which reports regular physical activity, and the opening says women were more active without noting the youngest group’s reversal. Next, describe the measure accurately and make the overview capture both exceptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

5.5 Band

The answer moves from an introduction and overview to male figures, female figures, and a comparison, so readers can follow the main sequence. The signposts “among men” and “For women” help distinguish the data. However, “Getting into details portrayed the following pattern” is an awkward transition, and the final comparison partly repeats the overview. Use a direct transition such as “Turning to the age groups,” and end with the most important contrast.

Lexical Resource

5.0 Band

The response uses relevant chart language, including “participation,” “increased gradually,” and “almost equal,” and its approximate quantities are suitable for visually read values. Some wording is imprecise or repetitive: “proportion of Australian people” could be more concise, while “outdoor activities” changes the chart’s stated subject. Replace these with “share of Australians” and “regular physical activity,” and use comparison verbs such as “exceeded” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5 Band

There are clear attempts at complex sentences, for example “before falling to around 42% ... and roughly 40%,” and much of the added data description is understandable. The preserved wording “the proportion of females were” has subject–verb disagreement, and the comma after “that” is unnecessary. The phrase “Getting into details portrayed” is also grammatically awkward. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and punctuation, then read each sentence aloud for a complete, natural structure.

Topic Band Distribution

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Band 5.03 examples

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