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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

218 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • Compare each country group with the parity benchmark of 100, noting that developed countries reached or exceeded it only in tertiary education.
  • Identify the largest increase: developing countries’ secondary ratio rose by 10 points, from 72 to 82.
  • Highlight the widest gap: tertiary education in 1998 had figures of 75 in developing countries and 112 in developed countries.

Suggested structure

  1. Paraphrase what the chart measures and state the years and education levels.
  2. Give an overview of the overall group difference and identify the most notable level.
  3. Describe the three developing-country ratios, including their changes over time and position relative to 100.
  4. Compare the developed-country figures and finish with the largest gap.
Useful vocabulary & examples
gender parity
Equal representation of females and males, shown here by a ratio of 100 girls per 100 boys.

The developed-country primary ratio was close to gender parity in both years.

edge up
Increase by a small amount.

The developed-country primary ratio edged up from 95 to 96.

remain below the target
Stay under a stated benchmark or goal.

All three developing-country ratios remained below the target of 100 in 1998.

the gap between the groups
The difference between the figures for two categories.

The gap between the groups was largest in tertiary education in 1998.

Task Prompt

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The bar chart elucidates the gender distribution in education across varying levels and contrasting economic landscapes, specifically quantifying the number of female students per 100 male students. Overall, a discernible trend indicates a more equitable gender balance in developed nations’ education systems compared to their developing counterparts. Furthermore, while parity approaches equality at primary levels, the gap between the two groups widens at higher levels, and only developed countries meet or exceed the target of 100 girls per 100 boys.

In developing countries, figures rose from 83 to 87 girls per 100 boys in primary education between 1990 and 1998. The corresponding developed-country figures were higher, increasing slightly from 95 to 96. At secondary level, developing countries recorded a larger increase, from 72 to 82, whereas the developed-country rate edged up from 98 to 99, almost reaching the target.

The greatest contrast was in tertiary education. Developing countries increased from 66 in 1990 to 75 in 1998, remaining well below the target. By comparison, developed countries were above it in both years, rising from 105 to 112. Thus, all six country-and-level figures increased over the period, but the gains did not eliminate the substantial gaps at secondary and tertiary levels. In 1998, developed countries were 9 points ahead in primary education, 17 in secondary and 37 in tertiary.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
In the overview, state the contrast with the 100-girl target directly: developing-country figures are below it at every level, while developed-country figures reach or exceed it only at tertiary level.
2
Use a consistent comparison pattern for each level: give the 1990 and 1998 figures for developing countries, then the corresponding developed-country figures.
3
Prefer concise chart language such as “shows,” “increased,” and “gap”; reserve more elaborate vocabulary for cases where it adds precision.

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