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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

177 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • Compare each country group with the parity benchmark of 100, noting that developed countries reached or exceeded it only in tertiary education.
  • Identify the largest increase: developing countries’ secondary ratio rose by 10 points, from 72 to 82.
  • Highlight the widest gap: tertiary education in 1998 had figures of 75 in developing countries and 112 in developed countries.

Suggested structure

  1. Paraphrase what the chart measures and state the years and education levels.
  2. Give an overview of the overall group difference and identify the most notable level.
  3. Describe the three developing-country ratios, including their changes over time and position relative to 100.
  4. Compare the developed-country figures and finish with the largest gap.
Useful vocabulary & examples
gender parity
Equal representation of females and males, shown here by a ratio of 100 girls per 100 boys.

The developed-country primary ratio was close to gender parity in both years.

edge up
Increase by a small amount.

The developed-country primary ratio edged up from 95 to 96.

remain below the target
Stay under a stated benchmark or goal.

All three developing-country ratios remained below the target of 100 in 1998.

the gap between the groups
The difference between the figures for two categories.

The gap between the groups was largest in tertiary education in 1998.

Task Prompt

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 4.0

The provided charts depict the enrolment of girls per every 100 boys students in three levels of education categorizing primary, secondary and tertiary. Overall, it can be vividly observed that the number of girls of primary and secondary level in both developing and developed countries was comparatively less than boys, while it outweighed in graduate education in developed countries. Looking first at primary school, developing countries had 83 girls per 100 boys in 1990, and this rose to 87 in 1998. The figures for developed countries were higher, at 95 and 96. At secondary level, developing countries increased from 72 to 82, while developed countries changed only slightly, from 98 to 99. In tertiary education, the developing-country figure went up from 66 to 75, remaining below the target of 100. In contrast, developed countries recorded 105 girls per 100 boys in 1990 and 112 in 1998, so girls were more numerous than boys at this level. Overall, the figures rose in every category, but the gap between developing and developed countries was especially clear in tertiary education.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Write the overview after identifying which categories are below or above the target of 100; state clearly that only developed-country tertiary education exceeds it.
2
Group the body by education level and compare the two country groups within each level, using the exact 1990 and 1998 figures.
3
Replace awkward ratio and comparison expressions with “girls per 100 boys”, “rose from … to …” and “girls outnumbered boys”.

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