User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

197 words AcademicTask 1Bar Chart

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Compare each country group with the parity benchmark of 100, noting that developed countries reached or exceeded it only in tertiary education.
Identify the largest increase: developing countries’ secondary ratio rose by 10 points, from 72 to 82.
Highlight the widest gap: tertiary education in 1998 had figures of 75 in developing countries and 112 in developed countries.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase what the chart measures and state the years and education levels.
Give an overview of the overall group difference and identify the most notable level.
Describe the three developing-country ratios, including their changes over time and position relative to 100.
Compare the developed-country figures and finish with the largest gap.

Useful vocabulary & examples

gender parity: Equal representation of females and males, shown here by a ratio of 100 girls per 100 boys.
The developed-country primary ratio was close to gender parity in both years.
edge up: Increase by a small amount.
The developed-country primary ratio edged up from 95 to 96.
remain below the target: Stay under a stated benchmark or goal.
All three developing-country ratios remained below the target of 100 in 1998.
the gap between the groups: The difference between the figures for two categories.
The gap between the groups was largest in tertiary education in 1998.

Task Prompt

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

The bar chart below illustrates the different levels of school education that female students have enrolled in. The survey, which was conducted in 1900 and 1998, provides insights into the number of female students per 100 boys. At the primary education level, the number of female students has increased from 87 to 83 in developing countries; however, the chart itself shows a rise from 83 in 1990 to 87 in 1998.

Overall, the ratios were higher in developed countries at every level, and all six groups recorded increases. The target of 100 girls per 100 boys was reached or exceeded only in developed tertiary education in both years; developed secondary education came close to it.

In developing countries, the figures for primary, secondary and tertiary education stood at 83, 72 and 66, respectively, in 1990. By 1998, these had climbed to 87, 82 and 75. The largest increase among these levels was in secondary education, at 10 girls per 100 boys.

By contrast, the corresponding figures in developed countries were 95, 98 and 105 in 1990, rising slightly to 96 and 99 at the first two levels and more markedly to 112 in tertiary education in 1998.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Before writing, note the two years and the six starting and ending values in a small table; this would catch both the 1900/1990 date error and the reversed primary figures.

Write a one-sentence overview that states the broad patterns: developed-country ratios are higher at every level, all ratios rise, and only developed tertiary education exceeds the target.

Group details by country category and compare primary, secondary and tertiary figures in the same order, using the unit “girls per 100 boys” consistently.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

7.0

Good

Words

197

Type

Bar Chart

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

5.5 Band

The completed answer identifies the chart’s topic and, in its continuation, gives a useful overview and comparisons across all three levels. However, the preserved opening says “1900 and 1998” and reports “increased from 87 to 83,” both of which conflict with the chart. The later clarification does not fully remove that contradiction. Check dates and direction of change against the visual before drafting.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.5 Band

The continuation is organised effectively: “Overall” introduces the main patterns, followed by separate comparisons of developing and developed countries. This makes the figures easy to follow. The opening, however, has two conflicting statements about the primary figures and comparison years, which disrupts the logical flow. In a final version, make the opening accurate first, then keep the overview and group details in this order.

Lexical Resource

6.5 Band

Phrases such as “recorded increases,” “came close to it,” and “climbed to” describe chart trends clearly, while “per 100 boys” keeps the unit explicit. The wording “different levels of school education that female students have enrolled in” is unnecessarily cumbersome, and “female students” is repeated often. Prefer concise terms such as “girls’ enrolment ratio” and vary reporting verbs where it remains precise.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.0 Band

The continuation uses a good range of structures, including the complex comparison “although” is not needed here and the clause “which…,” as well as accurate past-tense reporting. The opening phrase “levels … that female students have enrolled in” is awkwardly constructed, and “has increased from 87 to 83” is semantically contradictory. Use a direct noun phrase and check that the verb of change matches the ordered figures.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

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Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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