User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

219 words AcademicTask 1Multiple Graphs

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

Further study was the leading destination for both graduates and postgraduates.
Voluntary work was the least common option in each group.
Graduate counts exceeded postgraduate counts in all four categories, with the biggest absolute difference in further study.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the chart topic and specify the year and population.
Give an overview of the shared highest and lowest categories.
Report graduate figures in rank order, grouping the leading choices and the smaller categories.
Report postgraduate figures in the same order to make comparisons easy.
Close with the most notable difference between the two groups.

Useful vocabulary & examples

the most common destination: The option chosen by the largest number of people.
Further study was the most common destination for both groups.
ranked second: Was the second-highest category in a set of figures.
Part-time work ranked second for graduates.
by contrast: A linking phrase used to introduce a noticeably different figure or fact.
By contrast, only 3,500 graduates undertook voluntary work.
the largest difference: The greatest gap between two compared figures.
The largest difference between the groups was in further study.

Task Prompt

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The first bar chart demonstrates the data about the decisions of UK graduates after finishing college in 2008, while the second chart shows the destinations of UK postgraduates in the same year. In a general perspective, as is clear from the given charts, the number of graduate and postgraduate students who were unemployed after college was considerably higher among graduates than among postgraduates. Overall, further study was the most common destination for both groups, while voluntary work was the least popular. The figures for graduates were higher in every category.

Among graduates, 29,665 continued their studies, compared with 17,735 who took part-time jobs. Unemployment accounted for 16,235 people, only slightly below the part-time-work figure, while 3,500 chose voluntary work.

A similar pattern is evident among postgraduates. Further study again ranked first, at 2,725, followed closely by part-time work, at 2,535. A total of 1,625 were unemployed, and just 345 did voluntary work, making this the smallest category in both charts.

The graduate figure for further study was more than ten times the postgraduate figure (29,665 versus 2,725). The difference in voluntary work was also marked, at 3,155. Despite these differences in scale, the two groups had the same ranking of destinations: further study, part-time work, unemployment and voluntary work.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Rewrite the overview in one direct sentence that states the shared ranking: further study first and voluntary work last.

Group the detailed figures by student type, then add one clear cross-group comparison, such as the tenfold difference in further study.

Replace indirect phrases such as “demonstrates the data about” with precise reporting verbs such as “shows” or “records.”

AI Feedback

Overall Band

9.0

Excellent

Words

219

Type

Multiple Graphs

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.0 Band

The response covers the four destinations and gives accurate figures, including the comparison “29,665 versus 2,725.” Its overview identifies further study as the leading choice and voluntary work as the least common. However, the opening focus on unemployment is less effective than leading with the clearest overall pattern. Make the overview concise and foreground the shared ranking and the larger graduate totals before giving supporting figures.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The answer moves from an introduction and overview to graduate figures, postgraduate figures and a final comparison. The transition “A similar pattern is evident among postgraduates” helps readers follow the grouping. The opening sentence is long and the following phrase “In a general perspective” makes the introduction less direct. Separate the overview from the introductory information and use a short, clear sentence to introduce the main comparisons.

Lexical Resource

6.5 Band

The response uses relevant chart language, including “accounted for,” “ranked first” and “the least popular,” and it distinguishes the two student groups. Some wording is less precise or natural: “demonstrates the data about the decisions” suggests decisions that the charts do not directly report. Prefer direct descriptions such as “shows the destinations,” and use consistent category labels such as “part-time work” throughout.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.5 Band

Most sentences are grammatically clear, and the data comparisons are expressed accurately. The phrase “In a general perspective” is not idiomatic in this context, while “as is clear from the given charts” adds a cumbersome clause. The long opening sentence also carries several ideas at once. Replace the opening phrase with “Overall,” and divide the introduction and overview into shorter, controlled sentences.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

Practice this prompt

Use the same topic in Hack Admission AI and compare your answer with this example.

Check your answer on this topic Browse all examples