User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

208 words AcademicTask 1Multiple Graphs

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

Further study was the leading destination for both graduates and postgraduates.
Voluntary work was the least common option in each group.
Graduate counts exceeded postgraduate counts in all four categories, with the biggest absolute difference in further study.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the chart topic and specify the year and population.
Give an overview of the shared highest and lowest categories.
Report graduate figures in rank order, grouping the leading choices and the smaller categories.
Report postgraduate figures in the same order to make comparisons easy.
Close with the most notable difference between the two groups.

Useful vocabulary & examples

the most common destination: The option chosen by the largest number of people.
Further study was the most common destination for both groups.
ranked second: Was the second-highest category in a set of figures.
Part-time work ranked second for graduates.
by contrast: A linking phrase used to introduce a noticeably different figure or fact.
By contrast, only 3,500 graduates undertook voluntary work.
the largest difference: The greatest gap between two compared figures.
The largest difference between the groups was in further study.

Task Prompt

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The provided charts illustrate the post-collegiate paths of UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not enter full-time employment in 2008. A significant disparity is evident between the destinations of graduates and postgraduates, with a notably higher proportion of graduates pursuing further study compared to their postgraduate counterparts. Focusing on the destinations of graduates, the largest number chose further study, at 29,665. Part-time work was the next most common destination, with 17,735 students, followed by unemployment at 16,235. Voluntary work was least popular, attracting 3,500 graduates.

Among postgraduates, further study was also the leading destination, with 2,725 students. Part-time work was close behind at 2,535, while 1,625 were unemployed. As with graduates, voluntary work was the least common choice, at just 345 students.

Overall, further study was the most frequent destination for both groups, and voluntary work was the least frequent. The graduate figures were higher in every category, though the size of the difference varied. For example, the number of graduates undertaking further study was far greater than the postgraduate figure, whereas the two groups’ part-time-work numbers were relatively closer. The charts show student numbers rather than percentages, so the comparison is between totals, not the proportions of each group.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace “higher proportion” in the opening with a comparison of numbers, because the charts report counts rather than percentages.

State both overview trends together: further study is the largest category and voluntary work the smallest for each group.

Add one precise cross-group comparison, such as the further-study totals of 29,665 graduates and 2,725 postgraduates.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

9.0

Excellent

Words

208

Type

Multiple Graphs

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.5 Band

The answer covers all four destinations and gives the key figures, for example, “further study, at 29,665” and “just 345 students.” Its main overview is also clear. However, the opening claim about a “higher proportion” is not supported: the charts show numbers, not percentages, and the final clarification does not fully undo that initial imprecision. Describe these as larger numbers, and make the graduate–postgraduate comparison explicit in the overview.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.5 Band

The response moves logically from the graduate figures to the postgraduate figures and then to an overall summary. “Among postgraduates” clearly signals the shift, while “Overall” introduces the main trends. The comparison across the groups is less developed than the category-by-category reporting, and the final sentence partly repeats the distinction between counts and percentages. Add one concise comparison of the two groups’ figures in the overview and keep the data clarification brief.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

There is useful range in phrases such as “least popular,” “close behind,” and “leading destination,” which help describe rankings without repetitive wording. “Post-collegiate paths” is understandable but less natural than “destinations after leaving college,” and “higher proportion” is inaccurate for a chart of student counts. Prefer precise terms such as “number” or “figure,” and use a consistent set of expressions for ranking and comparing categories.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

8.0 Band

The completed response uses varied sentence structures accurately, including the contrast in “The graduate figures were higher in every category, though the size of the difference varied.” The opening sentence is long but controlled, and the figures are incorporated smoothly. The main issue is not sentence grammar but the wording “higher proportion,” which misrepresents the measure shown. On revision, retain the well-controlled complex sentences while checking that nouns such as “number” match the chart data.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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