User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

176 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be kept for up to one month: to remain in storage for no longer than a month
The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.
be stripped of its skin and bones: to have the outer skin and bones removed
After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.
converge at assembly: to come together at the stage where components are combined
The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.
be dispatched: to be sent out from a place to its destination
The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 4.0

the diagram illustrate that , production of Fish pie using various ingredients in factory outlet and include the various steps in its production. Overall, it can be seen with naked eyes that the whole process is divided into two parts, involving the preparation of potatoes on the one hand, and on the other hand, the fish is prepared. First, potatoes are delivered to the factory and can be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned, peeled and sliced. The slices are boiled and then chilled, after which they are stored until needed. Meanwhile, fresh salmon is delivered and must be used within 12 hours or less. It is added lemon juice and salt, and then cooked in a steam oven. After cooking, the skins and bones are removed, and the fish is inspected. Next, prepared peas and sauce are added. The fish mixture is put into a container, and potato slices are placed on top. The pie is then wrapped and frozen. Finally, the frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched for delivery.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Rewrite the overview to state both preparation streams and the point where they come together before wrapping and freezing.

Check every process verb for accurate passive grammar: for example, “the potatoes are sliced” and “lemon juice and salt are added.”

Make a short stage list from the diagram, then check that your answer includes both time details and the complete sequence through storage and dispatch.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

4.0

Modest

Words

176

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

5.0 Band

The overview identifies “two parts,” and the continuation covers the main potato and salmon streams, their preparation, and the final freezing and dispatch. It also preserves the diagram’s two time details: “up to one month” and “12 hours or less.” However, the opening does not clearly state that the streams come together to form pies. Next, make that joining point explicit in the overview and describe the assembly stage precisely.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5 Band

The sequence is generally easy to follow, using “First,” “Meanwhile,” “After cooking,” and “Finally” to guide the reader through the stages. The division into potato and fish preparation also gives the account a workable structure. However, the long opening sentence is difficult to parse, and “Next, prepared peas and sauce are added” does not specify clearly how the streams combine. Use a concise overview followed by two parallel streams that meet at assembly.

Lexical Resource

4.0 Band

There is useful process vocabulary in “peeled,” “chilled,” “inspected,” and “dispatched,” and the answer uses these verbs to distinguish stages. Some wording is awkward or imprecise, including “factory outlet” and “with naked eyes,” while “prepared” and “added” are repeated. Choose standard process terms such as “factory” and “combined,” and vary verbs only where they accurately describe a different action.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5 Band

The completed account includes several understandable passive constructions, such as “the skins and bones are removed.” However, the preserved opening has subject–verb errors in “the diagram illustrate” and “and include,” and the later sentence “It is added lemon juice and salt” has an incorrect structure. Practise matching singular subjects with verbs and forming passives as “lemon juice and salt are added”; also check punctuation and capitalisation.

Topic Band Distribution

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Band 4.03 examples

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