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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 8.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

172 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
  • The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
  • After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

  1. Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
  2. Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
  3. Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
  4. Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.
Useful vocabulary & examples
be kept for up to one month
to remain in storage for no longer than a month

The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.

be stripped of its skin and bones
to have the outer skin and bones removed

After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.

converge at assembly
to come together at the stage where components are combined

The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.

be dispatched
to be sent out from a place to its destination

The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 8.0

The diagrams show the production of fish pies. Overall, the process consists of eighteen distinct stages, which can be divided into three sets: preparing potatoes, salmon, and combining the two ingredients into pies, which will then be frozen. The first stage starts from delivering potatoes to the production facility up to one month, which are first cleaned to remove dirt. They are then peeled and sliced, before being boiled and chilled. After chilling, the potato pieces are stored until they are needed for assembly. Meanwhile, fresh salmon is delivered no more than 12 hours before it is processed. Lemon juice and salt are added, and the fish is cooked in a steam oven. Its skin and bones are removed, and the salmon is inspected. Prepared peas and prepared sauce are then combined with the fish. The potato and fish lines therefore run separately at first, before meeting as the filling and potato are assembled into pies. Each pie is wrapped individually. Finally, the pies are frozen and placed in storage for dispatch.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Replace the opening “The diagrams show” with a singular subject and verb to match the one visual.
2
Clarify the overview by naming the two parallel preparation lines and then the shared steps of assembly, wrapping, freezing, and dispatch.
3
Rewrite the potato timing clause so it clearly says the potatoes can be stored for up to one month before cleaning.

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