User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

190 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be kept for up to one month: to remain in storage for no longer than a month
The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.
be stripped of its skin and bones: to have the outer skin and bones removed
After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.
converge at assembly: to come together at the stage where components are combined
The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.
be dispatched: to be sent out from a place to its destination
The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

The diagram illustrates several processes involved in a commercial production of frozen fish pies. Overall, potato, fish, sauce, and peas are the main ingredients which are prepared separately. To begin with, the potatoes, which have been delivered up to a month, are cleaned, peeled, and cut into slices. Next, the slices are boiled, then chilled and are then moved on for assembly. Meanwhile, fresh salmon is delivered to the factory, and this stage is carried out within 12 hours or less. Lemon juice and salt are added to the salmon before it is cooked in a steam oven. The cooked fish is then stripped of its skin and bones and inspected. In separate steps, the peas and sauce are prepared for use. After these ingredients are ready, the salmon, potato slices, peas and sauce are brought together to make the pies. Each pie is wrapped individually and then frozen. In the final stage, the frozen products are placed in storage before they are dispatched. Overall, the process begins with the separate preparation of potatoes and salmon, while peas and sauce are prepared for assembly, and ends with freezing and dispatch.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Rewrite the potato timing clause to show clearly that delivery occurs up to one month before processing.

Use a simple overview that identifies the separate preparation lines and the final stages of assembly, freezing, and dispatch; avoid repeating that overview at the end.

Check coordinated process verbs for parallel form, and remove repeated sequencing words such as the two instances of “then” in one clause.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

7.0

Good

Words

190

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.0 Band

The answer gives a clear overview and describes the main stages, including the potato preparation, salmon cooking and inspection, assembly, wrapping, freezing, and dispatch. It also includes the diagram’s two timing details. One awkward point is “which have been delivered up to a month,” which does not clearly express the potatoes’ delivery timing. Clarify that they arrive up to one month before processing, and retain the separation between the ingredient-preparation lines.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The sequence is easy to follow: “To begin with” introduces the potatoes, “Meanwhile” shifts to the salmon, and “In the final stage” signals the end. The separate preparation routes are then brought together clearly. The closing “Overall” repeats the overview already given at the start, so the ending feels slightly redundant. Keep the opening overview and use the final sentence for a concise endpoint or omit it.

Lexical Resource

6.5 Band

Process vocabulary such as “peeled,” “steam oven,” “inspected,” and “dispatched” is specific and appropriate, and “stripped of its skin and bones” conveys the fish preparation clearly. However, “prepared” and “process” ideas recur, and “commercial production” is less natural than a simpler description of the diagram. Try precise verbs for each stage and vary repeated wording only where the alternative remains exact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.0 Band

The answer uses passive forms effectively, for example “are added” and “is wrapped,” which suit a process description. The phrase “which have been delivered up to a month” is grammatically awkward and leaves the time relationship unclear. Also, “then chilled and are then moved” repeats the sequencing word and disrupts the parallel construction. Revise these clauses while keeping the stages and timing unchanged.

Topic Band Distribution

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