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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 9.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

195 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
  • The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
  • After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

  1. Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
  2. Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
  3. Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
  4. Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.
Useful vocabulary & examples
be kept for up to one month
to remain in storage for no longer than a month

The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.

be stripped of its skin and bones
to have the outer skin and bones removed

After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.

converge at assembly
to come together at the stage where components are combined

The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.

be dispatched
to be sent out from a place to its destination

The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 9.0

The diagrams below illustrate the steps involved in manufacturing frozen fish pies. Overall, the production of frozen fish pies involves multiple steps that begin with the delivery and preparation of potatoes and fresh salmon. The process continues with the combination of ingredients before the final product is wrapped, frozen, and dispatched. In the first stage, potatoes are delivered and may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned. They are then peeled and sliced, boiled and chilled, after which the prepared potato pieces are stored for later assembly.

Fresh salmon follows a separate, faster route: it is delivered and processed within 12 hours or less. Lemon juice and salt are added before the fish is cooked in a steam oven. The cooked salmon is then stripped of its skin and bones and inspected.

At the assembly stage, the prepared fish is combined with peas and a prepared sauce, while the stored potato pieces are added to form individual pies. Each pie is wrapped and then frozen. Finally, the frozen pies are placed in storage and dispatched. Thus, the diagram shows two ingredient-preparation lines converging at assembly, followed by packaging and cold storage.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
In the overview, identify the two separate preparation lines and state where they converge; this captures the process’s overall structure.
2
Include storage as a distinct stage between chilling or freezing and dispatch, rather than leaving it implicit.
3
Use precise process verbs, and check that each stage is reported in diagram order without adding unsupported details.

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