User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 5.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

173 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be kept for up to one month: to remain in storage for no longer than a month
The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.
be stripped of its skin and bones: to have the outer skin and bones removed
After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.
converge at assembly: to come together at the stage where components are combined
The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.
be dispatched: to be sent out from a place to its destination
The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 5.0

Demonstrated in the given process is the information of how to produce frozen fish pies. Overall, in order to complete this process, several stages are needed which begin with delivering fresh ingredients and end with storing the final products. The process starts when potatoes are delivered by truck to the factory within 30 days. After they are cleaned, peeled and sliced. The slices are then boiled and chilled before being stored. Fresh salmon is also delivered to the factory, with this delivery taking 12 hours or less. Lemon juice and salt are added to it before the fish is cooked in a steam oven. Afterward, its skin and bones are removed, and the fish is inspected. Prepared peas and prepared sauce are then added. The fish mixture and potato slices are placed together in pie containers. These are wrapped and moved through a freezer. The potato and fish preparation lines therefore run separately before joining at the assembly stage, where the final pies are made. Finally, the frozen pies are stored or dispatched.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Separate the description into two clear ingredient routes: list the potato stages in order, then the salmon stages, before explaining how they are combined.

Check every sentence beginning with “After” or “When”; make sure it contains a main clause as well as the opening dependent clause.

Use concise process verbs such as “peel,” “slice,” “boil,” “inspect,” “wrap” and “freeze,” and distinguish the temporary storage of potato slices from the final storage or dispatch of pies.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

5.0

Modest

Words

173

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.0 Band

The overview identifies the process’s start and end, and the response covers both ingredient lines: potatoes are “boiled and chilled,” while salmon is prepared with seasonings, inspected and combined with peas and sauce. It also includes wrapping and freezing. One limitation is that the sequence around assembly is compressed, and “After they are cleaned, peeled and sliced” does not clearly separate the potato-preparation stages. Next, describe the two lines distinctly before explaining where they join.

Coherence & Cohesion

5.5 Band

The response mostly follows the diagram’s sequence, using markers such as “Afterward,” “then” and “Finally,” and it usefully notes that the ingredient lines “run separately before joining.” However, the fragment “After they are cleaned, peeled and sliced.” interrupts the flow, and the joining stage is described after the assembly sentence. Next, group the potato stages together, then the salmon stages, and finish with assembly, wrapping, freezing and storage.

Lexical Resource

5.5 Band

Relevant process vocabulary includes “steam oven,” “skins and bones,” “pie containers” and “dispatched,” so the reader can follow the production stages. Some wording is awkward or repetitive, especially “the information of how to produce” and “prepared peas and prepared sauce.” The response also uses “stored” both for the potato slices and the finished pies without clarifying the distinction. Next, choose direct process verbs and vary wording where it improves precision.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.0 Band

The response uses some longer structures, including “with this delivery taking 12 hours or less,” and several passive forms that suit a process description. However, “After they are cleaned, peeled and sliced.” is a sentence fragment: the opening subordinate clause has no main clause. The introductory sentence, “Demonstrated in the given process is the information,” is also awkwardly constructed. Next, check that each sentence has a complete main clause and use a straightforward subject–verb opening.

Topic Band Distribution

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