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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 6.0 Example

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173 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be kept for up to one month: to remain in storage for no longer than a month
The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.
be stripped of its skin and bones: to have the outer skin and bones removed
After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.
converge at assembly: to come together at the stage where components are combined
The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.
be dispatched: to be sent out from a place to its destination
The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 6.0

The given diagrams demonstrate the process of producing frozen fish pies. Overall, the production of fish pies involves several main steps, beginning with delivering ingredients to the manufacturer and finishing with dispatching the final products to different regions. The first branch shows how the potatoes are prepared. Initially, potatoes can be processed in up to one month before production begins. They are cleaned, peeled and sliced, before being boiled and chilled. The cooked potatoes are then stored until needed.

The second branch begins with fresh salmon, which is delivered no more than 12 hours before production. Lemon juice and salt are added, and the fish is cooked in a steam oven. Its skin and bones are removed, after which it is inspected. The prepared fish is then combined with peas and sauce.

Next, the fish mixture is placed in pastry cases and topped with the prepared potato slices. Each pie is wrapped and moved along the conveyor to a freezing unit. Finally, the frozen pies are stored before being dispatched to different regions.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Make the overview identify the two parallel preparation streams and say that they converge during pie assembly.

Describe the diagram’s sequence with precise process verbs, such as “peel,” “boil,” “inspect,” “wrap” and “freeze,” rather than repeating general wording like “prepared.”

Check prepositions and commas in process descriptions; in this answer, remove “in” from “processed in up to” and the comma before “before being boiled.”

AI Feedback

Overall Band

6.0

Competent

Words

173

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.0 Band

The completed answer covers both ingredient-preparation branches and the later pie-making stages. For example, it traces potatoes from “cleaned, peeled and sliced” to storage, and describes salmon preparation before assembly. It also reports the key timing contrast of “one month” and “no more than 12 hours.” To make the overview more informative, state explicitly that the two ingredient streams are prepared separately and then brought together.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.0 Band

The sequence is easy to follow: “The first branch” introduces the potato process, while “The second branch” signals the salmon process, followed by “Next” and “Finally” for assembly and completion. Paragraphing supports this division. However, the transition from the two branches to pie assembly could more clearly show where they converge. Add a linking sentence that names the potato, fish, peas and sauce as components brought together.

Lexical Resource

6.0 Band

The answer uses relevant process vocabulary, including “steam oven,” “inspected,” “freezing unit” and “dispatched,” and the action verbs generally fit the diagram. “The cooked potatoes” is a clear reference to the earlier preparation stages. Some wording is less natural, particularly “finishing with dispatching.” For a more precise, polished description, vary the process verbs and use compact noun phrases such as “ending with dispatch.”

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5 Band

The completed answer uses several sentence patterns, including the relative clause “which is delivered no more than 12 hours before production” and the passive “Its skin and bones are removed.” Most sentences are controlled, but the preserved phrase “processed in up to one month” contains an unnecessary “in.” Remove it to form “processed up to one month before production begins.” Also review punctuation around the list “cleaned, peeled and sliced, before” and omit the comma before “before.”

Topic Band Distribution

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 6.0 Example

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