User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 5.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

187 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

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Ideas to explore

The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be kept for up to one month: to remain in storage for no longer than a month
The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.
be stripped of its skin and bones: to have the outer skin and bones removed
After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.
converge at assembly: to come together at the stage where components are combined
The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.
be dispatched: to be sent out from a place to its destination
The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 5.0

The process chart illustrates data about the production of frozen fish pies. Overall, there are various number of steps for the productivity of fish pies. All the steps are interlinked with each other and omission of any step may halt the whole process. To begin, the main ingredients consists of fresh Salmon, sauce and peas, as well as potatoes. The potatoes are delivered up to one month before they are cleaned, peeled and sliced. Next, the slices are boiled and then chilled. They are subsequently stored until they are needed in the production line. Meanwhile, fresh salmon is prepared with lemon juice and salt before being cooked in a steam oven. The cooked fish has its skin and bones removed, and it is then inspected. Peas and sauce are prepared separately. These components are added to the production line, where the pies are wrapped. Finally, the finished pies are frozen and sent to storage and dispatch. The diagram also shows that the process from the salmon delivery to storage or dispatch takes 12 hours or less, whereas potatoes may be delivered up to a month in advance.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Replace the broad overview with a summary of the two production timelines: potatoes can arrive up to one month earlier, while the salmon-to-dispatch process takes 12 hours or less.

Check every subject and verb in the opening: “ingredients” is plural, so it takes “consist,” not “consists.”

Describe each production line in order, then explain where the prepared components enter the line and finish with wrapping, freezing and dispatch.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

5.0

Modest

Words

187

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.0 Band

The continuation identifies the main stages for both the potatoes and salmon, and includes the final wrapping, freezing and dispatch stages. It also reports the two timing details: “up to one month” for potatoes and “12 hours or less” for salmon to dispatch. The overview’s claim that there are “various number of steps” is vague and does not summarise the key contrast. Make the overview state that potatoes are prepared in advance while the fish-pie process is completed within 12 hours or less.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.0 Band

The answer follows a generally clear sequence, using “To begin,” “Meanwhile,” and “Finally” to guide the reader through the separate preparation lines and their end point. The shift from the potato stages to salmon preparation is understandable, although the overview’s “All the steps are interlinked with each other” is imprecise about how the lines connect. Clarify that the prepared potatoes and fish-pie ingredients join the production line before wrapping, then keep the final timing comparison together.

Lexical Resource

5.0 Band

The response uses relevant process vocabulary, including “peeled,” “chilled,” “steam oven,” “inspected,” and “frozen.” However, “productivity of fish pies” is an awkward choice for describing manufacture, and “various number” is not a natural phrase. The capital letter in “Salmon” is also unnecessary for the common food name. Prefer precise process language such as “production” and “several stages,” and use consistent lowercase names for ingredients.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.0 Band

Most of the continuation uses clear simple sentences, such as “The potatoes are delivered up to one month before they are cleaned, peeled and sliced.” Errors remain in the preserved opening: “there are various number” has faulty number agreement, and “the main ingredients consists” mismatches a plural subject and verb. The list after “fresh Salmon” is also awkwardly joined. Review subject–verb agreement and use a clean list structure, while retaining the clear sequencing in the later sentences.

Topic Band Distribution

Band 9.03 examples

Band 8.03 examples

Band 7.03 examples

Band 6.03 examples

Band 5.03 examples

Band 4.03 examples

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