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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

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170 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

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Ideas to explore

The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be kept for up to one month: to remain in storage for no longer than a month
The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.
be stripped of its skin and bones: to have the outer skin and bones removed
After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.
converge at assembly: to come together at the stage where components are combined
The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.
be dispatched: to be sent out from a place to its destination
The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 4.0

The process illustrates the manufacture of processed fish meat. Overall, the production of fish pies is a combination of two processes. In one process, patatoes are sliced, and the second process is the salmon process. Both are engaged at one point and end with dispatch to stores. According to the picture, the first patatoes and the salmon are delivered to the factory at different times: potatoes can be kept for up to one month, whereas fresh salmon arrives within 12 hours or less. The potatoes are cleaned, peeled and sliced before being boiled and chilled. They are then stored until needed. Meanwhile, lemon juice and salt are added to salmon, which is cooked in a steam oven. Its skin and bones are removed, and the fish is inspected. Prepared peas and prepared sauce are also added to this mixture. The potato pieces are transferred from storage and combined with the fish ingredients. The mixture is then wrapped and placed in a freezer. Finally, the frozen pies are stored and dispatched.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Open with the correct subject, then give an overview that states the potato and salmon streams are prepared separately and later combined.

Organise the body in two strands: describe potato preparation and storage first, then salmon preparation and additions; finish with the shared wrapping, freezing and dispatch stages.

Check ingredient spellings and use specific process verbs, such as “peel,” “boil,” “inspect,” “combine” and “wrap,” rather than vague wording such as “engaged.”

AI Feedback

Overall Band

4.0

Modest

Words

170

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

4.0 Band

The answer names the main stages and includes the two important delivery times: “up to one month” for potatoes and “12 hours or less” for salmon. It also describes preparation and the final stages. However, “processed fish meat” misidentifies the diagram’s subject, and the overview does not clearly explain that the two ingredient streams join. Next, state the product accurately and summarise the separate routes and their merger.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.0 Band

The sequence is mostly understandable, moving from deliveries through preparation to wrapping, freezing and dispatch. “Meanwhile” helps distinguish the salmon route from the potato route. However, “Both are engaged at one point” is unclear, and the potato stages are not consistently separated from the salmon stages before they combine. Use two clearly signposted process strands, then describe their joining and the shared finishing stages.

Lexical Resource

4.0 Band

There is some useful process vocabulary, including “peeled,” “chilled,” “inspected” and “dispatched,” and the answer uses relevant ingredient names. However, “the salmon process” is vague, while “engaged” does not express how the streams connect; “patatoes” is also misspelled. Use precise process verbs such as “combined” and “wrapped,” and check the spelling of key diagram labels before submitting.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5 Band

The answer uses some straightforward passive forms, for example “are cleaned, peeled and sliced” and “are removed.” However, “Both are engaged at one point” is grammatically awkward, and the sentence beginning “According to the picture” is left incomplete in the supplied prefix before being continued. The long chain of stages also relies heavily on simple clauses. Practise complete sentences and link steps with accurate passive constructions.

Topic Band Distribution

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 4.0 Example

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