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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

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191 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

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Ideas to explore

The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be kept for up to one month: to remain in storage for no longer than a month
The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.
be stripped of its skin and bones: to have the outer skin and bones removed
After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.
converge at assembly: to come together at the stage where components are combined
The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.
be dispatched: to be sent out from a place to its destination
The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 7.0

The illustrations depict ingredients and the production line of frozen fish pies. Overall, there are four main ingredients to manufacture fish pies, specifically salmon, potatoes, peas, and sauce. In addition, while potatoes are usable up to one month, salmon are supposed to be used within 12 hours or less. In terms of potatoes, after being cleaned, peeled, sliced, boiled and chilled, they are ready for assembly. The potato preparation begins with cleaning, followed by peeling and slicing. The slices are then boiled and chilled before joining the other components. Fresh salmon is delivered separately and must be processed within the stated 12-hour limit. First, lemon juice and salt are added, and the fish is cooked in a steam oven. Its skin and bones are then removed, after which the fish is inspected. The prepared fish is brought together with the peas, sauce and potato slices to make the pies. Finally, each pie is wrapped and frozen. The finished products are then moved to storage for dispatch. Overall, the diagram shows two preparation routes, one for potatoes and one for salmon, which meet during assembly before the pies are packaged and stored.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Make the overview distinguish the two delivery limits and identify the main components, while treating lemon juice and salt as additions used in fish preparation.

Describe the potato route and salmon route in separate, non-repetitive sections, then explain where they meet and how the pies are finished.

Check subject–verb agreement with food nouns such as “salmon,” and replace less idiomatic process phrases with precise verbs such as “store,” “peel,” “inspect” and “freeze.”

AI Feedback

Overall Band

7.0

Good

Words

191

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

7.0 Band

The overview identifies the four main components and contrasts the storage/use periods in “potatoes are usable up to one month” and “within 12 hours or less.” The completed description also covers both preparation routes and the final wrapping, freezing and storage stages. One refinement would be to distinguish the main components from lemon juice and salt, which the diagram shows as additions to the fish rather than core pie components.

Coherence & Cohesion

7.0 Band

The answer is easy to follow because it separates the potato and fish routes, then brings them together at “assembly.” Sequencing words such as “First,” “then” and “Finally” make the process clear. The opening phrase “In terms of potatoes” leads into a sentence that already lists several later stages, so the following potato-process explanation partly repeats it. Grouping the overview first and describing each route once would make the progression tighter.

Lexical Resource

7.0 Band

The response uses relevant process vocabulary, including “peeled,” “sliced,” “inspected,” “wrapped” and “frozen,” and accurately names diagram details such as “steam oven.” These choices make the stages specific rather than vague. A few expressions, including “ingredients to manufacture” and “usable up to one month,” are less natural than standard process-report phrasing. Consider “ingredients used to make” and “can be stored for up to one month.”

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6.5 Band

There is a useful mix of simple and complex sentences, including the time contrast beginning “while potatoes…” and the sequencing clause “after which the fish is inspected.” However, “salmon are supposed to be used” has a subject–verb agreement problem when salmon refers to the food as a mass noun; use “salmon is.” The phrase “ingredients to manufacture fish pies” is also awkwardly constructed. Proofread agreement and noun–verb relationships while retaining the varied sentence patterns.

Topic Band Distribution

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 7.0 Example

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