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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 5.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

190 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
  • The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
  • After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

  1. Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
  2. Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
  3. Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
  4. Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.
Useful vocabulary & examples
be kept for up to one month
to remain in storage for no longer than a month

The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.

be stripped of its skin and bones
to have the outer skin and bones removed

After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.

converge at assembly
to come together at the stage where components are combined

The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.

be dispatched
to be sent out from a place to its destination

The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 5.0

The diagram illustrates the order of production of frozen fish pies. As can be observed, the process includes two main lines, the first connects with potato preparation and the second one with cooking fish and combining all ingredients. The final product consist of fish, potato, peas and sauce The manufacturing started with the receiving potatoes, which are delivered to the factory up to one month before processing. They are cleaned, peeled and sliced before being boiled and chilled. After this, the potatoes are moved into storage. Meanwhile, fresh salmon is delivered within 12 hours or less. Lemon juice and salt are added, and the fish is cooked in a steam oven. The cooked salmon then has its skin and bones removed, and it is inspected. Prepared peas and prepared sauce are then added to the fish. The prepared ingredients are assembled with the potatoes and wrapped to form pies. The wrapped pies are frozen, after which they are stored before dispatch. Overall, potatoes are prepared and stored separately from the salmon, while the fish is seasoned and cooked; the two lines come together before the pies are wrapped and frozen.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Write a standalone overview that identifies the two ingredient lines and states that they converge before wrapping and freezing.
2
Use parallel stage descriptions for the two lines: potatoes are cleaned, peeled and sliced; salmon is seasoned, cooked and inspected.
3
Proofread for sentence boundaries and agreement, especially the missing full stop after “sauce” and the verb form after “product.”

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