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User-written IELTS example

Writing Academic Task 1 Band 8.0 Example

Original task prompt, user essay, band score, and related examples in the same report workspace.

165 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram
Task 1

Illustrative target band for this original model answer.

Plan your answer

Try your own response before reading the samples.

Ideas to explore

  • The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
  • The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
  • After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

  1. Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
  2. Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
  3. Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
  4. Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.
Useful vocabulary & examples
be kept for up to one month
to remain in storage for no longer than a month

The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.

be stripped of its skin and bones
to have the outer skin and bones removed

After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.

converge at assembly
to come together at the stage where components are combined

The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.

be dispatched
to be sent out from a place to its destination

The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.
IELTS Writing Task 1 visual

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 8.0

The diagram shows the process of making frozen fish pies. In general, the fish pie is made from four main ingredients: peas, fish, potatoes, and sauce, all packed in a microwave-safe container. Both the potatoes and salmon go through several steps before being mixed with the other ingredients, wrapped, frozen, and prepared for storage. First, potatoes are delivered to the factory and may be kept for up to one month before processing. They are cleaned, peeled and sliced, then boiled and chilled. After chilling, the cooked potato pieces are stored until needed. Meanwhile, fresh salmon is delivered within 12 hours or less. Lemon juice and salt are added before it is cooked in a steam oven. The cooked fish is then stripped of its skin and bones and inspected. Peas and sauce are prepared separately. Once these components are ready, the fish, potatoes, peas and sauce are placed in containers, which are wrapped. The finished pies are frozen and then sent to storage or dispatch.

Targeted Improvement Tips

1
Remove or qualify “microwave-safe,” because that property is not labelled in the diagram.
2
Describe the potato and salmon routes separately, then explain how the prepared ingredients come together for wrapping.
3
Include the two delivery timings and use the diagram’s final “storage/dispatch” stage to make the endpoints precise.

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