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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 6.0 Example

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199 words AcademicTask 1Process Diagram

Task 1

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Ideas to explore

The process has two parallel preparation routes: one for potatoes and one for fresh salmon.
The diagram gives different time limits for the ingredients: potatoes may be held for up to one month, while salmon is processed within 12 hours or less.
After preparation, the ingredients meet at assembly; the pies are wrapped, frozen, stored and dispatched.

Suggested structure

Paraphrase the process title and give an overview of the separate ingredient routes and their convergence.
Describe the potato preparation sequence in diagram order, including its stated storage period.
Describe the salmon route, including the seasoning, cooking, removal of skin and bones, and inspection.
Explain assembly and finish with wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch.

Useful vocabulary & examples

be kept for up to one month: to remain in storage for no longer than a month
The potatoes may be kept for up to one month before they are cleaned.
be stripped of its skin and bones: to have the outer skin and bones removed
After cooking, the salmon is stripped of its skin and bones.
converge at assembly: to come together at the stage where components are combined
The potato and salmon preparation routes converge at assembly.
be dispatched: to be sent out from a place to its destination
The frozen pies are stored before they are dispatched.

Task Prompt

The diagram give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

User Essay Analysis

Review the public answer with report-style highlights.

Band 6.0

The pictures illustrate the process by which frozen fish pie is generated from potatoes and fresh salmon together with some necessary ingredients. Overall, there is a dual process, which is named Potatoes and Fresh salmon, starting at different junctures. Notably, an automatic method is applied to the potato process, whereas the other combines manual labour for the salmon. The potatoes are delivered and can be kept for up to one month before being cleaned. They are then peeled and sliced, after which the pieces are boiled and chilled. Once ready, they are stored until needed.

Fresh salmon, by contrast, is delivered within 12 hours or less. Lemon juice and salt are added, and it is cooked in a steam oven. The skins and bones are removed before the fish is inspected. Prepared peas and sauce are then added to the salmon mixture.

Finally, the two prepared components are brought together: the potato pieces are placed with the fish filling in a pie case, and each pie is wrapped. The wrapped pies are frozen before being stored for dispatch. Potatoes may be held longer before cleaning, whereas salmon is delivered within 12 hours or less; both streams meet at wrapping.

Targeted Improvement Tips

Rewrite the overview to name the two preparation streams and state that they converge when the pie is assembled and wrapped.

Include the diagram’s delivery timings and storage allowance accurately: potatoes may be kept for up to one month, while salmon is delivered within 12 hours or less.

Replace vague or unnatural expressions such as “necessary ingredients” and “is generated from” with specific ingredient names and natural production verbs.

AI Feedback

Overall Band

6.0

Competent

Words

199

Type

Process Diagram

Criteria Breakdown

Task Achievement

6.0 Band

The overview identifies “a dual process” and distinguishes the potato preparation from the salmon stages, then the answer covers delivery, preparation, combining, wrapping, freezing and dispatch. These are relevant key features from the diagram. However, “which is named Potatoes and Fresh salmon” does not clearly describe the two streams, and some details are compressed. Next, state the separate paths more precisely and make the final combination stage explicit.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.0 Band

The sequence is easy to follow: the answer moves from the overview to potatoes, then salmon, and finally the pies. Transitions such as “By contrast” and “Finally” help signal those shifts. The closing comparison repeats the delivery timing already given, though, and “the other” in the overview makes the process being discussed less clear. Use one paragraph per stream and finish with a concise account of where they converge.

Lexical Resource

6.0 Band

The response uses suitable process vocabulary, including “peeled and sliced,” “skins and bones,” “steam oven” and “wrapped.” The terms describe several diagram stages accurately. Some wording is less natural or precise: “is generated from” is an awkward choice for a food product, while “necessary ingredients” is vague when lemon juice, salt, peas and sauce are identifiable. Prefer direct production verbs and name the ingredients.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5 Band

Many later sentences use clear passive forms, for example, “The skins and bones are removed” and “The wrapped pies are frozen.” However, “which is named Potatoes and Fresh salmon” is an awkward relative clause, and the capitalisation of “Fresh salmon” is inconsistent with normal sentence style. The final sentence also joins two comparisons with a semicolon. Revise the overview into a direct, grammatically controlled statement and check sentence punctuation.

Topic Band Distribution

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Writing Academic Task 1 Band 6.0 Example

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